The Pain Of The Pleasure

SIX - TOBIAS

I LISTENED to her pathetic little sounds as she cried and whimpered, hating how part of me actually ached the same. But we weren't the same. Not even close. I went to my room and closed the door behind me. Hate filled me as I threw my keys on the dresser and kicked off my boots.

This was just the last fucking betrayal I'd known was coming. I was actually surprised he'd waited this long. I bet he couldn't wait for mom to die, couldn't wait to move on and fuck other women, out in the open at least. I knew damn well he didn't give a shit when she was still alive. But why did it have to be her? Why did it have to be that little bitch's mother? I yanked my shirt free as the sound of her sobs reached me, making me clench my fists and turn to glare at the door.

"Shut the fuck up or I'll give you something to cry about," I muttered under my breath. The sounds grew quieter, leaving me to turn back to my bed. I unbuttoned my jeans, kicked them off, and climbed between the sheets. But I didn't close my eyes. Instead, I stared at the ceiling in the darkness, their grunts and moans taking up space inside my head.

But it was her haunted eyes that burned through those fucking sounds. The whites almost neon in the dark. The way she'd jerked her gaze toward me as I'd stepped into her view. I didn't know why I'd wanted her to see me, why I'd wanted her to feel as betrayed as I felt.

Why I wanted to share that moment, that brutal fucking moment. I closed my eyes and turned to my side as a wave of perfume hit me. Vanilla. I opened my eyes, finding the pale blur in the dark. Her panties. Soft, worn, cotton fucking panties only a good girl wore.

I licked my lips, panic taking flight inside me as I drew them close. In my head, those sounds of our parents became ours. My tiny, tight little mouse. Christ, I grew hard at the fantasy. But she wasn't so compliant...no, in my head, she bucked and writhed, fighting to hold onto her virtue. I clenched my fist around the fabric as my balls grew tight and became hard.

There was something about her that made me like this... Like a blinding light for my darkness. And I was darkness...desperate to consume. But I didn't reach for my cock this time. Instead, I let the fantasy play in my mind, and the more vibrant it became, the more I realized I wanted her.

I wanted that tiny little mouse. To see her squirm, to watch her cheeks redden. To stare into the reflection of my own pain in her eyes. I wanted her to feel like I felt; hurt...abandoned...betrayed. I wanted to make her fucking buck and cry. I wanted her humiliated.

A pang tore through my chest at the savagery. I closed my eyes and inhaled deep, letting her ruin play out in my head...and finally slept. My eyes burned when I woke. My heart hammered, panic moving through me as I wrenched open my eyes and shoved upright. I glanced around my darkened room, finding nothing but the murky gloom.

What the fuck? I clenched my fist around something soft and looked down. White. I blinked, fighting the blur, and looked again. White panties... And all of a sudden, it hit me...last night...the sounds coming out of my father's bedroom. That fist in my gut returned as revulsion slammed into me, then changed...becoming harder, colder...I glanced at the doorway, then looked down at my fist.

Turning into something that scared me...and excited me all at the same time. I kicked off the sheets and rose, made my way out of my room, and headed for the bathroom to take a piss.

When I was done, I turned and headed for Nick's, shoved open the door and stepped inside, kicking a pair of black lace panties as I went. He was still asleep, one arm wrapped around Natalie...who was naked and sprawled out beside him. Her big tits splayed to the side, the dark brown nipples soft and smooth.

I stepped closer, dragging my gaze from her breasts to her round stomach and her shaved mound. Still there was nothing, no surge of desire, not even a twitch of my cock. She may as well have been a dude. "Hey." I jerked my gaze to my brother. "Get the fuck up." "Piss off," he muttered without even opening his eyes. I kicked the side of the bed, drawing a moan from my brother's girlfriend.