The Pain Of The Pleasure

SEVENTEEN - RYTH

I SHOVED him away and scrambled to my feet."Okay." Nick pushed up to stand, holding his hands out. "Easy."My breaths were hard and sharp, tearing from my body as I lifted myhand to the twigs and leaves in my hair. "You want to take me home, Nick?Then take me home right now. But I swear to God, you do that to me again,I'll tell mom...everything."Defiance was a lit match in his gaze. 

"You won't, or you would've bynow. You liked it, Ryth. You can deny it to yourself all you want, but don'ttry to lie to me."I started to shake my head."You gonna stand there and tell me you're not wet? I bet if I parted yourlegs right now, I could prove you a liar."I froze, unable to say another word.But I didn't need to. Nick just nodded. "I drive you, Ryth, you got it?You want to go somewhere, anywhere, you come to me."Come to him...he smiled with those words. I bet he'd like it, too, bethe'd like me needing him. 

But the truth was, I did need him, unless... "Icould always dr—""Fat chance." He cut me off with a glare before he turned. "And don'teven think about taking my goddamn keys, the car's fitted with a killswitch. I'd call up and kill the engine in an instant, leave you stranded onthe side of the road just to prove a goddamn point."He would, too...I just knew it. He motioned me forward. "Come on,Ryth. I'll take you home."The tension seemed to ease between us when I climbed back in theidling car. I yanked my seatbelt closed as he gave me a sideways glare, thenreached across and brushed the dirt from my knees. "Can't have anyonethinking we just rolled around in the dirt, now can we?""But that's exactly what we just did," I replied. 

He smiled, giving me a wink. "Next time, answer my fucking texts,Ryth."So I was theirs to command now? They'd say jump and I asked howgoddamn high, and if I didn't do what they wanted, they'd what...makeme?I forced myself to focus straight ahead as Nick shoved the Mustang intogear and pulled out of the parking lot. It didn't sit right, them making me.But there was something inside me that writhed under the knowledge.Something that wanted them. I glanced across at Nick."Told you before, Ryth," he muttered without looking my way. "All yougotta do is ask, you can look at whatever you want."Oh...my...God...I bet he would, bet he'd pull the car over right now if I asked him. I bethe'd lay me down and take care of that constant ache between my thighs,the one that'd started the night he held me still so his brother could touchme. But I didn't ask. 

I bit the insides of my cheeks as I clamped my mouthshut as Nick pulled into our driveway."Ryth," Nick called as I shoved open the door.I froze, my hand gripping the handle, but didn't turn around."Whatever you need, princess."I swallowed hard, closed the door behind me, and strode to the frontdoor, my steps hurried. I clutched my laptop and raced upstairs, takingcomfort in the only thing I could right now...the fact that both Nick andCaleb were leaving.I closed my bedroom door and pressed my spine back against it.Footsteps thudded up the stairs, lingering outside my door before theycontinued. I tracked the sound all the way to his bedroom.Beep.My cell vibrated. I grabbed it from my pocket, finding a message fromGio. 

Gio: You okay? 

I winced, hating how he and the rest of the entire school saw what hadhappened.Yeah, pain in the ass big brothers. I'm home now, and fine.I waited for the response. I didn't have to wait long. 

Gio: Didn't look like a big brother kind of thing, Ryth. More like ajealous boyfriend kind of thing. 

I stared at the message and didn't know what to say. In the end, Ihedged.All good, I'll talk to you tomorrow Gio.But the truth was, I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to talk toanyone. They didn't understand what it was like living in this house. Theydidn't understand me. I wasn't afraid of them, not anymore. Whatever hadshaken free when I first came here was now something else. Something justas ungrateful damaged...and out of control. I glanced at my door, just likethey were.But I understood something now, something I hadn't understood before.Something about me triggered something in them. I didn't understand it.I didn't like it, but I sure as hell felt it. I'd seen it in Nick's eyes today andseen it in Tobias' last night when he had his hand around my throat. Theywere drowning in pain...swept away by grief, and for some reason, theywere clawing me, tearing me apart, desperate to feel something.I made them feel.Desperation.Anger.Lust.All of it.