Rekindling Paradise (Estancia Soledad Series 1)

Kabanata 11

Kabanata 11

“Tungkol saan ang pag-uusapan natin?” lakas loob kong tanong sa kanya pagkapasok palang namin sa Paraiso.

Nakakrus ang dalawa kong braso habang nakaharap sa kanya ngunit hindi makatingin ng diretso. I pursed my lips and put my hand behind my back.

“Let’s talk if you’re ready.” He said.

I know how determined he is to talk but the decision is still on me.

His jaw clenched repeatedly, the storms in his eyes returned and it looked so intense.

I let go a heavy sigh because I know that I don’t have any reason for my past action. I just want to avoid him because I feel like there’s a danger in his world.

“I am ready…”

I want to smile because he knows the silence without being told so. It pretty amaze me how he knows every single thing by just observing and applying it to his actions.

“Athena…” my heart skip a beat when he called me.

Tiningala ko siya at kitang-kita ko ang lito na nilalabanan niya ng pag-intindi. Ang namumuong gulo sa kanyang berdeng mata na nagbigay ng kakaibang sakit at haplos sa aking puso.

Napatingin ako sa distansya sa aming pagitan. Bawat hakbang papalapit sa kanya ay kaakibat ng walang kasiguraduhan. Bawat paghigpit ng aking hininga ay siyang pagtalon ng puso ko sa isang bangin na kung saan ay walang nakakaalam kung may sasalo ba o wala.

It took one more step for us to get closer when I looked back into his eyes who continue to offer me the life I never expected to have. His green orbs is my personification of unknown and consequence, my ananke. It sync well to the place where the trees are freely emerging and existing without paying taxes to the universe.

“I- I am afraid to g-get hurt…” I whispered what I am afraid and what I truly feel. I give him a tight smile. “You can easily dump me, Exiterous. W-With man your c-caliber… y-you could easily find someone good. Who have a better and complete life… someone w-who is the best and fit into y-your world.” yumuko at tumawa ng mahina.

“You’re afraid and that’s okay…” His words feels like it embraced me. “I don’t want to push or force you to like me or more than that. You’re afraid and I understand.” And it pained me.

My eyes drop because I could feel how my eyes started to heat up.

“I-I’m sorry…”

“You don’t have to say sorry for what you feel, Athena.”

His words hit something inside of me.

Napaangat ang tingin ko sa kanya ng bigla niyang tinawid ang pagitan namin. Nagtataka ko siyang tiningnan at kitang-kita ko ang hindi matapos-tapos na bagyo sa kanyang mga mata. Na parang may gusting-gusto siyang gawin pero hindi niya magawa.

“Tell me… tell me to stop, Athena. Tell me so I would know if I am pushing you too much.” He held my chin so he could deg deeper into my eyes without remorse.

Napalunok ako at hindi makapagsalita.

Nanatili ang tingin sa kanyang mga mata, pinipilit ang sarili na bumuo ng salita gamit ang tibok ng aking puso pero wala. I saw something deep in his eyes and emotions I couldn’t name. Napakuyom ang aking mga kamay ng bigla niya akong bitawan.

I bow down my head so I wouldn’t see him leave.

For someone like me who grow up independently, grow to see things in another perspective, and force herself to mature beyond her age. It’s hard to explain myself just to be understand, or to express what I feel without feeling too much.