𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥 (Ticci Toby x Male Reader)

𝒟𝒾𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝑒𝓃𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝓋𝑒?

Toby pushed up the goggles to rest on his head with his free hand, unable to meet me eye to eye. I tilted my head to the side, trying to read his guilty expression for a deeper meaning. Toby wiped his eyes with his gloved hand, and I could feel the thick tension that was spread between us.

"What do you need to tell me?" I asked, my voice barely over a whisper.

Toby looked to the side, a slight tremor in his words.

"It was a lie." He said, taking his hand away from mine.

My face morphed into confusion and a slight dread at his words. I quickly grabbed his hand, pulling him back to me.

"What was a lie?" I asked, feeling my heart sink more and more with each passing moment.

"It was planned." Toby said, staring down at the deck beneath us. "I was ordered by Slenderman to 'escape' the asylum and convince you to come back..."

My face softened before frustration and betrayal were written into my appearance.

"So you just lied to gain my trust? You knew this whole time?" I asked semi-rhetorically, but even my angry face got long amongst the tears that procked at the back of my eyes. "Were you just trying to get me to empathize and even love you on purpose? Just for some stupid mission."

Toby's face paled more than before, and he looked distraught by my words. He quickly tried to defend himself and his actions.

"It wasn't all like that! I... I really do like you! I meant a lot of the things I said!" Toby said, gripping the rail of the deck.

"Why should I believe you? You've been lying to me this entire time." I said bitterly, blinking away the blur of sadness and heartbreak in my eyes. I couldn't believe I let myself get hurt like this again.

Toby's mouth went agape, unsure of what to say.

I clenched my jaw, speaking again.

"Was our little moment in the car part of the mission too? What about this morning when you poured your heart out and I came to comfort you? Was it staged so you could get a little credit from your boss? You wanted to sucker me into being a criminal again?" I asked, a trembling waver falling into my voice.

I almost felt like I was about to disassociate with Toby staring at me. It's been a long time since I cried, and it made me feel embarrassed and a bit shameful to be so vulnerable in this moment. It was so absolutely gut-wrenching and stupid of me to think I would get to have a decent relationship.

"No, none of that." Toby said quietly, his arms glued to his sides as he spoke. "I really do care about you. You're so different from the other people here. It's like you still care about things."

I squeezed my eyes shut, wiping them free of the burning tears.

Toby's chest heaved as his heart drummed in his chest. He reached out, grabbing my hand and squeezing it.

"You... you have to believe me! I...I-I promise, I don't think of you as some mission. I just couldn't keep that from you forever." Toby panicked. The same sadness fell from his brown eyes, even though one of the eyes we're nearly fogged over.

"I don't have to believe you." I said, prying his hand off mine and taking a step away and turning my back to him.

Toby's expression filled with dread, and he lunged toward me, wrapping his arms around my stomach as he pushed against my efforts to walk.

"No, no, no! No, no, please, Y/N, you have to believe me!" He begged, his shoes squeaking against the wood beneath them.

I kept trying to walk away, and I was able to get off the porch and start through the rain, all while Toby clung to me desperately. I felt like I needed to get away and sort my thoughts. The drizzle dampened my hair as Toby started to speak again.

"I can't l-lose someone l-like you, not again!" He sobbed, his hands gripping at the fabric of my shirt.

I paused, my silent tears stopping briefly as my head turned toward him.

"What do you mean 'not again'...?" I whispered, my voice dripping with emotion.

Toby's arms trembled as he slowly sank to his knees, weeping and clinging to his legs like a vice. His tears slowly settled to numb cries as he leaned his head against my legs. He seemed to be thinking about something, but I couldn't tell what.

"Don't leave me like everyone else..." Toby uttered, his breath heaving out of his chest as his short nails dug into the fabric of my pants. Soon enough, he was hyperventilating and sobbing once more, zoning out as his tears mixed with the rain.

My eyes widened when I realized what was going on. He was having a panic attack. My instincts sprung into full force, and I crouched down to his level, gently taking the cap off his head and the goggles for good measure.

"Toby, breathe." I said, trying to keep my tone soft as I held his shoudlers.

Toby looked at me through glassy eyes, now gripping onto my sleeves. I gritted my teeth as the rain and thunder poured harder down on us, and I pulled him closer, enveloping him in a hug.

Toby sobbed harder, digging his hands into my back in a hard attempt to get me to stay.

"I'm right here; I'm not going anywhere." I whispered, trying to keep my own emotions in check.

I could feel his body sink and his mold against mine, like a perfect fit to a puzzle. I pushed the wet hair from his face as his breathing was still labored.

I wanted to know what he meant by his words, but the rain that pounded on our heads and the panic attack weren't helping at all.

I gently parted the clingy hug, putting my hands on his cheeks as the skies showered from above. I wiped the mix of salt and water from his cheeks with my thumbs, and he gripped my wrists firmly. I put our faces close, trying to get things to focus only on me so he would calm. I quietly hushed him, gently rocking him side to side.

"I won't leave..." I said as my warm breath fanned his face.

He squeezed his eyes shut, holding my hands on his cheeks as his breath started to steady.

"I love you, Y/N..."