It was you... (Miguel O'Hara x OC)

Chapter 2. Reasons and misunderstandings

Astre's POV

I've always been in the dark, it's always all I knew, almost nothing around, brief glimpses here or there, but there was never silence, the spirits never left me alone, they were always searching for me or looking for something from me and it only terrified me.

Death, my mentor, gave me no comfort, or at least not a comforting one, as he always made me hold my fear in. He always told me that I had nothing and no one out there, in the real world, that, instead of being afraid, I should be determined not to be weak before demons, before humans, before anything else I might face, even that I would be someone seen by society as a monster, as something that should not exist, that they would destroy me for the same.

Crying was useless, no one would pity me if I did, they would destroy me without mercy, they wouldn't care if I was hurt or not, if I asked for mercy or not.

And I believe it, I understand it, I don't blame anyone.

The first time I saw my reflection, I could notice what Death always told me... A monster, I couldn't believe my face was like that, a pale face, without colour, except for those two lilac eyes that made me look more overwhelming.

And I saw it in that gaze before I plunged into that darkness again, that man who attacked me that night... his gaze was horrible, it was as if he hated me and enjoyed my pain, but, according to Death, this was normal for me.

I'm in that darkness again, I feel dread, like when I was little, but I don't cry, in fact, I don't feel like I can move at all. My body is cold, I don't feel it at all and it hurts.

Did I die? I couldn't tell if this happened, and if it did... then didn't I go to the heaven that God promised me?

Dread...

I can't breathe, but I feel my pulse in my ears. No... I didn't die, I'm alive in the darkness, but I don't move, I don't sense my mentor, at least he's not near.

Cold...

I struggle, but I try to open my eyes. I realise I'm not in Limbo, everything glows so bright that my eyes burn, my hands shake, I want to cry so badly for some reason. I gasp, inhale, exhale, my face hurts, but it feels awkward. I can't open my eyes properly, they close on their own, my head rolls and rests on my forearm which is numb and tingling.

I manage to half-open my eyes, there is an incessant buzzing in the air and the cold white light of the room blinds me. There's a stinging in my body, I want to crawl to my knees, but my arms can't support my own weight. I gasp, whimper with the effort to move, open my eyes wider and notice that I am in a completely blank room, with no furniture and a small, very high window that looks outside, as I can see the night and the stars peeking through.

I groan, tense up, crawl until I straighten my torso. I sit up, feel around, I'm naked, a thin blanket covers my back.

Why am I naked?

I gasp, I whimper, I'm afraid, I'm very afraid. I look at myself, there's nothing about me that doesn't look clean, I'm covered in huge bruises. My fear increases as I analyse my surroundings, I try to calm down, but the emptiness of the room overwhelms me and the fabric of the blanket is irritating me and I have small pimples.