thirteen reasons why

letter 9

Lynette Jackson.. oh honey, you thought you could help me and that honestly that warms my heart. You would yell at me how I'm so beautiful and amazing and I didn't need to feel like this but nothing you said changed anything.

If you cut and felt worthless you would know that every word coming out of your mouth equaled another lie to me. I wish I could put this down easier on you, Hun, but if anything you made me feel worse.

I told you I was depressed and you said one thing that put me down so much. I was looking for you to help me and you said "oh, yeah we all go there sometimes. Molly had problems with it last year but it will get better. I have to go right now but it will get better, Britt." I was about to cry and I was hurting and you treated me like it was normal. I told you this wasn't normal and it wasn't okay.

I told you I cut and do you remember what you did? Do you remember what happened, Lyn? I told you I started cutting and someone called out your name and you said nothing to me and walked to the person asking you to go to them over me.

You're a cheerleader, everyone likes you, you have had more boyfriends to count on four hands; and you say you have it worse than me. I get you have insecurities, we all do, but you are trying to say you have it worse than me when I have abusive parents, low self esteem, many bullies, a broken heart, and 50 cuts on my thighs. You have three cuts on your wrist and insecurities. I was only clean for seven days and it didn't last because I cut before I overdosed.

You were a good friend, Lynny. Just not enough of one to keep me alive or make me ever feel good about myself.

I would say I'm sorry but I'm not. Don't blame yourself because I have twelve other reasons, sweetheart.

Forever Gone,
Britt