Songs We Listen to at the Café

Prologue

Songs We Listen to at the Café

PROLOGUE

Sa likod ng masisiglang kanta at makukulay na ilaw sa loob ng isang bar, duon mo raw matatagpuan ang malulungkot na tao.

Before, I used to think that was a false claim. I mean who would think that in the middle of people dancing to a good song — which obviously will make you wild and crazy — you'll find the saddest and loneliest people in the world.

But then when I finally came into that stage of my life where I don't know where else to go when I feel like the world is eating me alive, I went to the nearest bar and drowned myself into God knows what kind of alcoholic beverages the bartender gave me.

Wala naman talaga sa plano ko ang pumasok sa bar nang gabing 'yon. It was during the latter days of last year, I felt nothing but deep sadness. I couldn't eat. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit, pero siguro dahil na rin sa lamig ng panahon and the fact that it was holiday season, but I had no one else for me.

Ang ibig kong sabihin ay nang mga gabing 'yon wala akong ibang gustong puntahan kung hindi ang minsan kong naging tahanan at pahinga ngunit huli na ang lahat dahil sarado na ang pintuan.

I also don't have the key anymore. I didn't lose it. Nasira na lang siguro talaga.

The bar scene was so far from a chill café scene. That night I couldn't hear anything but the music blasting from speakers inside the bar where lights were coming off and on. Halos mabulag ako dahil sa mga ilaw.

Matagal na rin kasi nung huling pumasok ako sa bar, I guess it was around my late teenage years, during college days. Kaya naman sobrang nanibago talaga ako. Malayong-malayo sa safe space kong café.

Masikip din ang lugar. Mahirap kumilos dahil sa kaliwa't kanang mga sumasayaw. I couldn't even pass through, but thanks to the bouncer who I guess saw me dying inside the sea of people dancing, I made it to the bartender station.

"Hey!" I shouted to one of the bartenders busy making a drink. "Name's Dio," I added.

"'Sup, Dio, what can I get you?" he asked, while pouring the cocktail from the shaker to the glasses in front of him.

"You tell me," I said, not knowing what to order.

Kaaagad naman siyang napangisi dahil sa sinabi ko. "Ano bang gusto mo? Inumin para makalimot o inumin para maka-alala?"

Natigilan naman ako sa tanong niya. Mabilis ding kumurba sa labi ko ang mapait na ngiti.

"Can I have something that can do both?" I asked with a bitter smile.

Suddenly, the bartender took his shaker and started pouring different kinds of drinks on it. He's probably already making my cocktail. Which made me finally sit at the bar stool directly in front of him.

"Is it always like this here?" I asked the bartender while looking at the crowd in front of us.

A lot of things are happening. Someone's dancing inside a small circle. On my right side near the comfort room is a guy surely hitting a woman. Someone's crying while dancing with a glass of cocktail on her right hand. It's like a complete circus.

"The night's still young, Dio, wala pa 'yan sa wildness ng mga tao every end of the year," the bartender said, answering my question earlier. "Here, inumin para makabuo ka nang maayos na desisyon." he said and laughed after handling me the drink.