Full Throttle

Chapter 11 - ...Ready for It?

I'm in my room with all of the lights turned on in front of the full-length mirror hidden behind my cupboard door. It's nearly a quarter to eight and it's finally Saturday after a pretty mundane last few days of school.

After the initial excitement of my being outed and the entire student body of Somerset High speculating on and debating whether or not the rumours about me were true, everything has settled down significantly. Now, everyone is likely on to the next shocking scandal or juicy gossip so I've basically been left completely alone.

It's funny how quickly everything has changed because people at school seem to have gone from complete and utter surprise about my sexuality to being like 'Yeah, she's just the bi girl. What's new?'. This is honestly a place I was at one point convinced I would never reach where everyone just knows. They all know who I am and it feels great.

What felt even better than the school finding out was when I told my parents that I'm bisexual. I'm still riding high on the pure joy I felt after telling them and I feel like nothing can ruin my mood today. Their reaction was even better than I could have ever imagined and was more special than anyone could have asked for. 

The rest of the conversation with my parents went just as well as the beginning. It was filled with a lot more laughter, a ton more tears and about a million more group hugs. In the end, I decided to tell them about Melissa. I wasn't actually sure whether I should mention her at all let alone whether I should tell them about the whole strange fake dating situation or not. 

Funnily enough, I ended up telling them that she is my girlfriend and that we've been seeing each other for quite a few months now. Normally, our fake dating situation is exactly the kind of thing I would be telling my parents over a hot cup of tea but something in the moment told me to keep it to myself.

I know that it's going to be hard enough acting all couply with Melissa without my parents milking the admittedly pretty hilarious situation for all it's worth. I can already picture all of the different ways they would manage to embarrass me if they knew about this so I feel really good about my decision not to tell them.

What I did tell them, though, was about the party tonight at Mabel's house. I have to say, I am incredibly excited to go which is very unlike me. So unlike me that every time I've walked past either my mom or my dad today, they've given me suspicious looks like I must be some party-loving alien that has taken their introverted daughter's place. 

In all honesty, I've also wondered what has gotten into me today. Normally, the thought of spending several hours with people I don't know from a bar of soap would make me feel unbearably anxious and uncomfortable. Usually, hours or even days before an event like this I would be non-stop nervously fiddling with my fingers and my clothes and my hair and would be so tense that even the tiniest of noises would give me literally the fright of my life.

However, going to this party tonight feels different. Is it because I'll be able to prove to the whole school that I'm not ashamed of who I am? Somewhat. Is it because I'll be able to stick it to Anna? That's definitely part of it. Is it maybe because I get to spend more time with Melissa who I feel very connected to despite only knowing her couple of days? A bit. Is it actually because Mabel's birthday party is Taylor Swift-themed with a strict dress code and it's basically the first time in my life that I'll get to show off all of my Swiftie memorabilia to other people who will actually appreciate it? One hundred and ten percent, yes!

Apart from the occasional person on Halloween to get the meaning of my Taylor Swift costumes, I've never really spent much time with other people who share my obsession. I've never even been to one of her concerts before. It's not like Taylor Swift would just randomly decide to come and perform in our tiny town when only like a couple thousand people live here. Plus, any time that she's been performing even remotely near Somerset, the tickets have sold out so quickly that it's actually insane. I haven't once even had a chance to get out of the digital queue online before receiving the message that there are no more seats left.