TEENS : a Jahnnie fanfic

help

Johnnies pov:

TW:angst

I wake up to Jake holding me,i enjoy this,i realise that I'm wearing his shirt..and he's wearing no shirt..what even happened last night? A few minutes of wondering. A few minutes of thinking. I know what we did. We..fucked. Thats really bad. We're just friends,I'm not gay,he's not gay..wait..is he? He was the one who started it and..he said he got outed! although that was last year..maybe i have a chance with Jake!!..or maybe i don't..but..I wasn't the one that started it so..maybe it isn't my fault?..does he even like me?..did he even want to? did he do it because he was drunk?..or maybe..he used me..i pull away. He definetly used me. I wouldn't imagine Jake to do that,but,I'm unlovable. I get up,and realise Carrington isn't here either. I put on some clean clothes and exit. I go back to the forest,i think Carrington is blackout drunk,and when i arrive there,he is just led there. I shake him and wake him up "Carrington..?" "huh..? whatt..?" "I think you blacked out last night.." "huh..yeah..and i have a terrible migrane.." i helped Carrington up "lets go get some pills for that.." "yeah.." we went to the store and luckily they have medicine to help. After we buy it,Carrington obviously takes it and feels a bit better. "so..why did you drink so much last night?" I asked,knowing Carrington has never been blackout drunk in his life "I-I dont know.." "are you bottling it up,Carrington?.." ".." he just sighed. "I'm sorry Carrington.." "It's not your fault,i just.." "what?..what is it?.." "i..don't want to..put pressure on you..and..I'm kind of scared to open up to Tara..most of my problems are about Chase..and i barely know Jake.." "I get that..but..if you're comfortable..I'd like you to..open up to me?.." i said,hesitantly "uhm..okay..well..basically.. When we was at the party i was obviously with chase but i was hanging around with other people ad he doesn't like that so he got mad at me and since i was drunk i wasn't really taking it seriously and he just said like fuck off or something then walked back and i just..wanted to forget about all my problems. I wanted to forget about how I cant be upset. How i always have to be happy. How i have to act straight when I'm not. How i have to act like i like a girl when in reality i like chase!-..I've said to much haven't i." "..I'm sorry you feel that way..would you like to go to the beach and just sit there..to ware of the bad thoughts?.." i said super softly,understanding how Carrington felt "yeah..that'd be nice..thank you..uhm..Johnnie?" "yeah?.." "uhm..you don't..think of me any differently,do you?" he said and laughed a bit shakily,but smiling "of course not.." "thank you.." we walked to the beach,arriving there and sitting on the stone wall above the sand. Carrington stared at my clothes and asked "are you wearing my jacket?" "yeah" i smiled "for comfort,and plus it kind of looks sick sooo" "what can i say,I've got good style!" (note:Johnnie always goes to Carrington for comfort,and Carringtons jackets are comforting because it makes him feeled a bit more loved,this doesn't mean Carrington and Johnnie like eachover in this,they dont. :D ) Johnnie shrugged "i have better style." I said,smirking "i bet if we asked everyone who had better style I'd get more votes." Carrington said back,then laughed as I shook my head. "so uhm..is there any reason you came looking for me?" Carrington asked "well..I- uhm..it doesn't matter!" "Johnnie. what is it." "well..it's Jake.." "whats up with you and Jake? did you guys argue?" "no..we uhm..we.." i looked down. "we fucked." I look back up at Carrington,he looks shocked for a second,he smiles and nods. "whats bothering you about that?" he says in a comforting tone "well..I know this wouldn't seem like him..but..i feel like..he used me.?" "yeah..but..i don't think he would do that..especially not to you." "i don't know..i mean..have you seen me? I'm ugly..and..I'm unfunny..and cringe. and I have so many problems and cu-.." "your problems and..cuts..don't define who you are. you're not cringe,or ugly. Infact,you're the least cringe out of the five of us. and you're not ugly! I bet Jake thinks you're the most prettiest boy in the world! and to be honest,you can tell by the way he looks at you." "can you?" "mhm." "maybe.." "..sorry you have to feel so down.." Carrington said,sympathetically,wrapping his arm around me as i led my head on my shoulder. "..Carrington?" "yeah?" "i think you need to..apologise to Chase."