All About Love

Nothing Left

“Please give me another chance. I know I caused you unforgettable pain when we were married but please, I beg you. Trust me once more and I vow to never hurt you again. Please…” A hoarse voice, choked with sorrow and pleas, sounded.

For a moment, there was just silence, as if the person hearing was probably stunned or may have been contemplating the words and their authenticity.

Then a mild and calm voice spoke, “You asked me for divorce. I gave you. You asked me to leave your sight. I left. You made me leave even the city where you lived. I didn’t have any complaints. Along with all these demands came countless unreasonable wounds. What more should I do without any objections? Do I not even deserve a bottom line now?”

The man asking for a second chance was stumped by the words of his ex-wife. He probably didn’t regret anything in his life except for hurting this girl.

Interrupting his thoughts the voice that was as calm as millpond spoke again with a sudden hint of hysteria, “Tell me huh!! Tell me!! What more should I do??!! You gave me scars all over my body! Do you want a chance to dig them deeper now??!! You thought it must not have hurt much, right?! And now you want to make up for that pain you didn’t give??!! Why do you want a chance??! Kill me cleanly now??!! Or that bitch doesn’t want me to live so you don’t as well?! Why do you keep following me? Even taking away the second of peace that I got……Tell me….sob….hic…hic….am I so despicable that I don’t deserve a minute of happiness…..? Was loving you….sob…sob… such an unforgivable crime…tell me ah…?” near the end all the accumulated emotions were slowly rolling down her pale white cheeks through tears.

Why was it not over already? Why were the three years of a long nightmarish reality not over? Why did he appear in front of her again? She was so terrified…
Tears were uncontrollably flowing down her delicate almond shaped emerald eyes. Whenever she saw her body she was scared. She was scared of the hospital wards. She was scared of medicines. She was scared of glasses. Knives and forks would bring back the terrible memories that she had gotten in the name of love. Marriage…..she never even dared to think of it now. She just wanted a bit of peace. She had had enough.

There was complete silence. Even after she had called his ex-lover a bitch he didn’t dare get angry like he used to. How could he? His heart was aching so painfully seeing the tears she was shedding. It was getting hard to breathe thinking that the reason for that was him only. He really hurt the one person he shouldn’t have. Most probably ruined her completely.

He had no words to defend himself nor did he want to. Thinking of the cruelty he had shown, it was not something a human could have survived. His horrible violence…..he didn’t dare think further about the damage he had done. He had become a monster for someone unknowingly. Maybe knowingly but he had not cared for that until the moment. He had nothing to say.

Now that he had fallen for the person to whom he was now a monster, what should he do? For the past few months he had been trying to pursue her again, trying to show his feelings, his changed behavior and personality.

Inconsiderately. Just like before. Never caring what the other felt. What changed then? Probably nothing except that he didn’t use abusive force this time but still ended up hurting her.

Forcing his so-called sincerity upon her, what did he expect? Their marriage was for convenience only. She was used as an object by his family to strip him off the rights of inheritance of the family business. And she didn’t even know it. She loved him so tried her best to care for him. But the result? She faced his “true love” and suffered unreasonable violence because of the hate he had for her.

She couldn’t help feeling disdain for the man in front of her. She hated him. Wished him a terrible life along with a horrendous death. She at least had that right after suffering through all the pain that was inflicted upon her. All because of what? Accusations that had no evidence. The only validity to them was probably that the accusations came from his most beloved. So of course they were blindly believed upon. Who cared about the truth? His beloved had gone to him crying in pitiful tears. And she was the one who had to pay for each drop of them.

The public humiliation, the broken leg, the glass shards that had pierced her throat, the reason for her claustrophobia, the knife marks on her shoulders and hands…..what had she not gone through? Only she felt her fearful soul trembling as she faced the man. Facing death would have been way easier. Much easier….

It happened yet again. Looking at his hands that had once brutally beaten the girl, he felt as if they were burning. His heart was already a mess with guilt and regret. The beating was so horrible that he had even mercilessly broken one of her legs. Why? Because she had just raised her voice against the one he loved and made her cry in shock. Thinking now, he really loved one poisonous snake. That woman had now left him for an old wealthy man without blinking an eye. Heh.

What the hell has he done? What did he do right in his whole life? He was born in the wrong family, led his teenage life the wrong way, loved the wrong person, and now hurt the one person whom he should have treasured. What’s more, breaking her leg wasn’t the only thing he had done. He really was shameless. After being fully aware of what he had done, he had even dared to think that once he pursued her again, she would also love him again, forgiving him for the sake of him being her first love.

First love. Yes he was. He had been. And she regretted it so much. It was enough to feel like dying to face her past self and wake ‘her’ up before everything began. If only she never met him……

Silence enclosed them; each one with their own thoughts.

Finally she couldn’t handle the fear and dread anymore, “I beg you. I do not want to pay for the sincerity you’re giving me that I didn’t even ask for. You simply do not have a heart and I can’t bear any more of your cold hearted tortures. Spare me. I’m so sorry for marrying you. I’m sorry for loving you. I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry….”

He finally knew what he had done. Seeing her having a hard time even breathing as she repeatedly apologized to him, trembling in fear, he knew everything was over with no space for repair. That traumatic appearance…….he was the reason. He couldn’t even try soothing her, afraid that as she had once done she’d yet again hold a knife and try killing herself in front of him. It didn’t even happen that long ago. Probably two months ago.

The love he had would probably never surpass his guilt, regret and pity. She was right in thinking that she even had to pay for the sincerity he was showing. After all, every time he had shown an ounce of concern for her as an individual, he had abused her twice as much afterwards. How could sincerity heal the deep trauma he had given?

Except for terrible memories, there was nothing left…..