Love in Captivity: Chains of Obsession

They dont love me

He smelled my hair once lingering for a bit.

"After this movie, I'm going to help you bathe. You aren't doing a good job cleaning your hair." He says with his attention on the TV.

"What?" I stutter back, trying to get off his lap.

"Hannah, your hair stinks I'm going to wash you because you aren't doing a good job. Now I don't know why, but you aren't. I've never bothered you while I let you shower. So I'll be giving you one." He stated to me as though it were obvious.

"I can do it myself. I'll try harder." I say pleading.

I didn't want him to help me.

"Hannah I'm going to tell you this once and only. Stop it now, stop arguing with me. I allowed you a bath every day; therefore, you shouldn't stink. You are probably trying to rush so I wouldn't come in. I'm not going to allow you to poorly treat yourself. So if you aren't going to properly care for yourself, I will." He says sternly, his voice firm and unwavering as though his mind already made it.

I don't respond as more tears begin to form in my eyes. He rubs my head, and his other hand rubs my sore ankle.

"I'm not being mean to you, Hannah. I could be, but I'm not. Just let me help you. Maybe after your shower, we can eat some ice cream? How does that sound?" He asked me softly, continuing to try and comfort my emotional state.

I nod vigorously, missing the taste of ice cream.

He chuckles, "Only if you're good the whole time, Hannah. I'm not going to do anything but help you bathe, okay, baby, that's it." He tells me yet again, leaving the matter not up for discussion.

"Okay, I'll be good," I say softly, looking at my nails as I pick at them nervously.

He doesn't say anything; he just stops rubbing my ankle to grasp my two hands in one of his.

He softly kisses my temple.
"My good girl." He says, mumbling to himself as the movie plays.

"Colton I have to go to the bathroom," I say as I play with the buttons on his shirt and the tattoos on his arms.

He pauses the movie. Tapping me on the thigh to stand up.
I do my feet hitting the cold hardwood.

He grabs my upper arm, leading me to the bathroom. Downstairs that didn't have a window.
I use the bathroom. I can hear him outside the door.

Sighing I finish and wash my hands, looking at myself in the mirror.
How could nobody be looking for me? Was I that unimportant to my family? I knew that they didn't like me, but I didn't think it was that bad. They didn't love me. I started crying again and sitting against the door. The sound of the water muffles the sound.

"Are you crying, Hannah?" He asked from the outside of the door.

I try to breathe as I sit against the door.