Golden Girl

14

Leah POV:

The tension between Lucy and me had been simmering just below the surface for days now, like a pot about to boil over. 

It all stemmed from that day on the bus, when Katie had brought up my ex, Jordan, and then drilled Lucy about her past with George. 

We never really talked about it afterward, and since then, something had shifted between us. I knew it was my fault—I'd been distant, pulling away whenever Lucy tried to get close. But I couldn't help it. The thought of her still holding feelings for her ex, no matter how small, gnawed at me in ways I couldn't even fully explain to myself.

As we left training that evening, the air between us was thick with unspoken words. Usually, this was the part of the day I looked forward to the most—when we'd leave the pitch together, sweaty and exhausted, and head back to one of our places to wind down. But tonight, things felt different.

"Whose place are we staying at tonight at?" I asked, trying to sound casual, though my heart was racing.

Lucy glanced at me, her expression unreadable. There was a moment of hesitation, just a beat too long, before she finally spoke. "I think... I think I want to sleep at mine tonight. Alone."

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. My first instinct was to argue, to beg her not to do this, but something in her tone told me she wasn't in the mood for a discussion. Still, I couldn't just let it go. "Why?" I asked, my voice coming out smaller than I intended.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Because, Leah... you're clearly dealing with something, but you won't talk to me about it. And I can't keep pretending everything's fine when it's not. I need you to communicate with me. Until you're ready to do that, maybe some space would be good."

I opened my mouth to respond, but the words died on my lips. What could I say? That I was scared? That I didn't know how to handle my feelings? That I was being stupidly jealous of someone who wasn't even in the picture anymore? Instead, I just nodded, feeling the weight of my own silence crushing me.

The drive to Lucy's apartment was quiet, the usual easy conversation replaced by a heavy, uncomfortable silence. When we finally pulled up to her building, Lucy turned to me, her expression softer now, almost apologetic. "I'm not trying to push you away, Leah," she said quietly. "I just... I need you to meet me halfway."

I nodded again, but this time I forced myself to speak. "I get it, Luce. I do. I just... I'm sorry."

She gave me a small, sad smile, then leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Goodnight, Leah."

"Goodnight," I whispered back, watching her get out of the car and disappear into her building. I waited until she was inside before driving off, the weight of everything crashing down on me.

As I drove home, my mind was racing, a tangled mess of emotions. Frustration, guilt, fear—they all mixed together, making it hard to think straight. By the time I got home, I felt like I was on the verge of exploding. I needed to clear my head, so I went straight to the shower, hoping the hot water would wash away some of the tension.

But it didn't. As I stood under the stream, the water scalding my skin, all I could think about was Lucy's face when she'd asked for space. The hurt in her eyes, the way her shoulders slumped as she walked away... it killed me. I hated that I'd done this to us, that I'd let my insecurities get the better of me.

After the shower, I sat on my bed, staring at my phone. I knew what I needed to do, but I was scared. Scared that if I opened up to Lucy, she might see how messed up I really was and decide I wasn't worth the trouble. But I couldn't keep running from this. If I wanted to keep Lucy in my life, I had to be honest with her.