Eminence

Note 16 - Do You Grieve?

It would be two days before Warren and the others went to the beach. Warren and Jack were put in charge of shopping beforehand, so they chose to go to the nearby store after Warren got off work. Jack had been staying over a lot, which didn't bother Warren; he appreciated the company since Emanon had to stay at the hospital. It was much less lonely, and they started feeling more like friends. It had been two weeks since Emanon and Theo's legal visit, and it had surprisingly passed relatively quickly. They were now in the middle of Summer; unfortunately, it had been unbearably hot. They would have gone the weekend they originally planned, but Emanon was not allowed until she didn't need a bag of blood per day. She did look much healthier than she did when they first brought her to the hospital, though, and has since continued to recover more. They would be lucky this weekend as it had been raining the last two days, and it would continue to rain into the following week. As usual, though, Warren had a lot on his mind. 

"Hey, Jack..." Warren asked, stopping in the middle of the aisle. 

"Yes?" Jack answered, and he turned to look at Warren.

"You haven't been to your house in a while."

"I don't have any furniture there yet." 

"You don't have any furniture?"

"I haven't had time. Why? Are you sick of me?" 

"No, I've enjoyed your company. It's nice to have someone in the house. I was just curious, that's all."

"Is that all you're curious about?"

"Well... I was thinking about how you feel about Emanon."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you ever think about Vaan when you look at her? I'm assuming they would look somewhat similar."

Jack stared at the floor for a moment. 

"When I look at Em... Sometimes, not every time, but sometimes I see Vaan. Certain smiles, certain laughs, certain looks. It's almost uncanny, and it hurts, too."

"I've never seen you never look hurt since we met."

"That's because I have to protect Em and push past it; otherwise, I can't. I grieved before. I'm fine." 

"Is that enough, though? You've known him since you were a kid. You grew up together. Is two weeks enough to grieve your lover?"

"What do you know?" Jack asked him, and he looked irritated.

"Well, I wouldn't call myself a professional griever..." Warren answered, laughing awkwardly. 

"Are you- referring to something to cheer me up? I don't get it."

"It was only recently that I grieved my parents. It's already been eight months since they passed, yet now and then, it hurts like it was yesterday. Sometimes, I still think about my ex even though it's already been a year and a half. So, is it enough time to grieve such an important person?" 

"You still think about your ex?"

"Is that really the most important part to you?"

"I don't know. Would Em find it important?"

"I'm sure she's more mature than you."

"We'll see about that."

"Look, It's not that I miss him. It's just that our relationship still weighs on me. There are things he said that linger in my mind. He hurt me in a way I still haven't fully recovered from."

"Have you ever talked about it with Em?"

"Only about the things that make me insecure. I've never brought up my ex, though."