𝘖𝘶𝘳 𝘚𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵 - 𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐳𝐨 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐞

13) The wait

I paced up and down the depths of my room continuously, the stress of the impending first date dwelling over my body. This was my first date, ever. I've kissed guys in meaningless spin the bottle games, but never have any of them offered to take me out.

I felt cold air rush onto my body when the wooden doors of my dorm swung open, and instead of being met with the sight of Cedric, it was none other than Pansy Parkinson herself.

"Pansy..." I furrowed my eyebrows, crossing my arms and tilted my head a little higher.

For context, Pansy didn't come back to our dorm last night and she didn't tell me where she went, to say the least I spent the entire night worried about her instead of being excited about my date. I wasn't mad of course, she's my best friend.

"Well this is awkward." Pansy coughed, scratching the back of her neck.

"Indeed..." I blinked.

Pansy sighed deeply, taking a seat on the edge of my bed. "Sorry I didn't come back last night, I uh... got sidetracked."

"With Blaise?" I smiled.

"Maybe..." She smirked. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you it all happened so quick but we're now dating!"

"WAIT WHAT?" I laughed, embracing her tightly, "I'm so happy for you oh my god."

"Thanks Mads" She chuckled, holding my hand and eyeing me up and down.

"What are you so dressed up for?" She scooted backward in attempt to get a better look at my outfit.

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, "Oh it's not important, I don't want to steal your moment."

"Your not stealing anything but my will to live, please tell me I'm literally about to die." She joked, her eyes glistening with genuine anticipation.

"I have a date..."

"OH MY GOD, WITH LORENZO?" Pansy gasped loudly, holding her hand to her chest.

"No. Ew." I laughed, "With Cedric."

She fell backward onto my bed, huffing dramatically. "I wanted it to be with Lorenzo."

I rolled my eyes, grabbing Pansys hands and forcing her to sit up, "Fortunately for me it's not."

"Shame."

"If you don't mind..." I shook my head, "Please could you leave for when Cedric comes to get me?"

"Uh, rude!" She laughed, standing up suddenly and gasping.

I flustered my eyelashes at her, gripping onto her hands tightly, "I'm sorry, but pleaseee?"

Pansy bit the inside of her cheek, folding her arms and gazing at me suspiciously. "I'll think about it."

"Pansy!"

"Fine!" She smirked, grabbing her bag and throwing it over her shoulder. "Just this once."

"Thank you." I mouthed, hugger her tight before pulling away and watching Pansy close the door behind her, leaving me in the bittersweet sound of silence.

I was the kind of girl who hated silence, it left me to fight a war i couldn't win, a war with my own thoughts. I can never think positively in any situation; I always tend to see the worst in everything, so when i'm alone I feel the constant pain of my words hitting like bullets, all the 'what if' questions flooding my head, all the reminders of everything i've been through in the past attempting to drag me further down into the ocean until I drown. I hated it.

On the other hand, part of me liked being alone. Sure my thoughts bothered me; but I hated crowds and people, the way crowds suffocate me and leave me with a lack of oxygen, so it's extremely comforting to have a minute to be able to actually breathe and escape the noise, but instead of the noise of people; i'm left with the sound of my own thoughts.

I yet again continuously paced up and down my room with anticipation. Consistently glancing down at the watch on my wrist, only to be met with the painful, crushing feeling of watching time tick and worry of Cedric's absence. It was now 4 hours past the original time Cedric promised me he meet me at my dorm; and I couldn't help but question if I had gotten something wrong, if I had done something wrong to make him not show up.

I hated waiting for people too, the way it leaves me feeling like a helpless puppy waiting for it's owner to return home, the way my heart gets heavier at each second that ticks by without a response. I've always felt like I've given more love than I receive; I guess caring too hard is a curse in that way, it only leaves you hurt when you don't receive the equally-returned care back.

And that's how I felt right now, like an idiot. I felt stupid for believing for even a second that someone actually liked me, that someone actually wanted me.

A painful tear struck itself down my cheek, I peered outside the stained-glass window watching as the clouds bruised the sky as it bled an aching rain. I burrowed my head in my hands. I felt like the last drop of an ink pen, a paperweight at that.

But over the sound of the rain leaking onto the roof and sliding off effortlessly, I could hear a slight noise radiating from the entrance of my room.

A knock.

A slight glimmer of hope in my eyes that faded the minute I saw who was standing at the door.