In the midst of the crowd, all I see is you

CHAPTER 18

MIKHA

How long does it take for a person to move on? And if possible, can somebody please tell me what is the fastest way to move on from someone?

For the past months, I've been trying to stop this feeling of mine for her. I tried to get back to what we used to be. I treated her the way I treated the others. I stop calling her from our endearment. I've been distancing myself from her. At one point, I thought I had already made significant progress. I convinced myself that I was fine already, that I had moved on from her.

We're now at La Union and will stay here for 3 days. There was a change in our room assignment. My roommate was Maloi while Stacey was with Gwen, Jhoanna was with Sheena, and lastly, Colet and Aiah. I don't know if fate is playing with me. She didn't become my roommate but she ended up being with someone I was jealous of. I know that I am very selfish and unfair in the part that I am envious of Colet knowing that I know Maloi is the one that she loves and in the first place, Aiah only sees me as a friend.

I was surfing today with Colet, Maloi, Sheena, and Jhoanna. Meanwhile, Stacey, Gwen, and Aiah chose to take pictures and get tanned. I admire Sheena and Maloi because it was only for a while but they learned quickly how to surf. Colet seems to be running out of patience because she keeps falling off the surfboard. I couldn't help but laugh at Jhoanna when I glanced at her. She seems to have given up and is just lying on the surfboard as if she doesn't care anymore. While me? My cheeks were flushed and I don't know if it was because of the heat of the sun or because of Aiah cheering me on. When I saw her instax camera focused on me, I lost my balance and fell.

Get your shit together, Mikha Lim. Remember, you should be cool in her eyes and not like this.

When the sun was about to set, I decided to take a walk on the beach. I didn't realize that I had come so far. When I got tired, I stopped and took off my polo shirt put it on the sand, and lay down. Good thing there's no one else here.

If you ask me what I prefer between sunrise and sunset? I'd say, sunset without hesitation. They say the sunrise symbolizes new hope. That's right, I couldn't agree more with that. But for some reason, sunsets remind us that even if one of the chapters in our lives is near its conclusion, somehow, we can still gain the chance to let go and perceive a lovely setting. That behind every farewell lies the promise of tomorrow's dawn. That even if the day has met its end, there's still an opportunity for us to reset.

I don't know how long I stayed thinking about my decisions in life in general that I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was already past 11 in the evening. I noticed that I have many miscalls from the girls, most of that is from Aiah. I mentally slapped my face.

Oh my God, Mikha! Out of all the places you can sleep, this is where you thought of doing it. You're dead, Mikha Lim.

When I arrived at the house where we were staying, I found Aiah sleeping in the living room. I saw Colet walking back and forth with her cell phone in her ear. When she noticed me, she stopped and furrowed her eyebrows.

''Do you know what time it is, Mikhaela Janna Jimenea Lim?'' I could tell the annoyance in her tone.

"I'm sorry, Colet. It was my fault for being reckless and unmindful. I promise it won't happen again." I said while bowing my head because I couldn't look into her eyes.

"Among all of us, it's Aiah that you should apologize for the most. She has been restless since the time we couldn't contact you. I told her to rest already and sleep in our room and I'll be the one who will wait for you. But you know how stubborn she can get. She kept insisting on waiting for you until she fell asleep," She paused. Now, I feel even more guilty.

"And by the way, Maloi will be staying the night in our room. So, what are you waiting for? Take her to your room because you are the first person she wants to see when she wakes up. Let's just talk this over tomorrow and call this a night." She added.

"Thank you and I'm sorry again, Colet." I gave her an apologetic smile.

She was about to go up the stairs but she suddenly stopped.

"And Mikha? Good luck to you, I'm sure it will be hard for you to woo your Bubby tomorrow." She jokingly said while tapping my shoulder and went to their room first.

I don't know how long I stared at Aiah before I carried her to the bedroom. I can't get enough of looking at her face. I feel that everything becomes bland without her in it. I didn't realize it and fell asleep when sleepiness came over me.

I was surprised when I saw Aiah's face almost touching mine when I woke up. And I was even more surprised when her eyes opened. Out of reflex, I pulled back suddenly, not knowing I was at the end of the bed, so I fell.

''Ouch!" I groaned.

She immediately helped me stand up. She doesn't speak. The longer it goes on, the more nervous I get. I feel like she's looking at me to the core with the way she looks at me.

''I'm sorry, Aiah.'' I started. She remained silent.

''Sorry if I came home late,'' I added.

''Please, talk to me, Aiah.'' I would rather her be angry with me than ignore me.

''I'm not mad at you, Mikha. But, do you know how much I was worried about you last night, knowing that it was late and you weren't here yet? You didn't even say where you were going. I have called you for God knows how many times. And yet, not even once you have answered.'' I don't know what to say. I felt even more guilty when I saw tears starting to fall from her eyes.

It pains me to see her crying like this. The worst part is knowing that I am the cause of that tears. Without saying anything, I went to her and held her in my arms. Her head was resting on my chest while my hands were comfortably circling on her waist.

"I'm really sorry, Bubby. Please stop crying now, hmm?" I lifted her face and gently kissed her forehead.

Aiah was a bit taller than me. But right now, she looks like a baby in my arms. My baby.