In the midst of the crowd, all I see is you

CHAPTER 30

MIKHA

Lately, I've been practicing the art of loving myself more because I realized no one has my back aside from me.

The only person who promised me that she would never leave me, left me in the end.

The person who promised not to change was now with someone else.

The person who told me to wait for her until she became ready, was now ready to be with the one whom she truly loved.

Maybe the worst thing I did was I made my world the person who was supposed to be just a friend.

That's why when she left me hanging, my world suddenly collapsed. It's just unfair because she continues to move forward with her life, happily. While I'm still here, stuck in the moment, holding on to the memories we shared.

But I can't blame her though, if she didn't learn to love me the way I loved her. Because I know that the heart couldn't be forced to whom it should beat.

We are now at my condo. We decided to sleep over since we don't have a schedule for tomorrow.

"Guys, why don't we play truth or dare to make this night even more exciting?" Jhoanna suddenly spoke.

For some reasons, I felt unease. I have a hunch that something bad is going to happen.

"Is there any other game? The game you thought of is cliché, Jho." Colet said with a frown.

"Why don't you come up with a game that fits your standard then?" Jhoanna fired back.

"Anyway, who wants to join?" She added.

They all raised their hands, indicating that they will join the game. While I was in the corner, watching them quietly. I don't want to join, I might slip and say how much I love her. I might not be able to control myself and beg her to come back to me.

"You're no fun, Mikhs. Come on, join us." Sheena pouted her lips. She's using her youngest card on me again because she knows I can't say no to her.

"Okay, okay, I'll join. Now, stop pouting your lips. It's irritating." I said and shook my head.

"You're awesome Shee, you should always be the one inviting Mikhs so she can't say no to us." Stacey said in amazement.

This is it, brace yourself Mikha Lim and no matter what happens, don't be stupid.

I mentally told myself since I don't have trust in myself especially when alcohol is involved.

Jhoanna started spinning the bottle and it pointed at Gwen. I let out a deep sigh. Fortunately, it didn't point to me because I knew they would just going to tease me.

"So Gwen, truth or dare?" Maloi asked.

"Truth."

"Booo! Boring." Jhoanna said, clearly not liking the choice of the latter.

"I know you all, I know you will make me do silly things if I choose the other which will not gonna happen," Gwen smirked.

"So Gwen, in a parallel universe where you became a man, if you would date a girl in this room, who would it be and why?" It was Colet's turn to smirked back at Gwen.

"Your question is very easy, Colet. To answer that, maybe if I became a man, I probably going to date Sheena. Well, it's because I'm too fond of her. We may have so many differences but somehow, we still fit with each other. And to be honest, she's the only noisy one I accept."

"It was supposedly a hypothetical question but why does it feel like real?" Jhoanna jokingly said.

Gwen's face immediately turned red. Sheena is no different though. Her face almost turned into a tomato from blushing.

Our game continued as the night deepened. And the inevitable finally happened to my horror when the bottle stopped and pointed at me.

"Finally, it's Mikha's turn. I've been waiting for this moment to come. So Mikhs, truth or dare?" Colet's voice was tinged with playfulness.

I was suddenly sweating. This is what I was saying earlier. I guess my end has come because Colet's mind is surely full of mischief.

I'm weighing what's better for me. If I choose to dare, I might not be able to handle what they ask me to do. If I choose the truth, I might not be able to control myself and say something that I will regret later. Knowing them, for sure everything will be related to Aiah be it with the questions they will ask or things they want me to do.

I heaved a long sigh before I answered.

"Truth."

"Guys, is it fine if I'll be the one to ask her?" Gwen finally breaks her silence.

"Sure, go for it, Gwen," Maloi said.

“I have wanted to ask this question for a long time. Since you've been so secretive from us lately Mikha Lim, are you in love now or perhaps, taken?"

"Yes." That's all I said since I didn't need to explain further because it wasn't part of her question.

It's true, though. I was in love and still madly, crazy, and deeply in love with Aiah. Although she doesn't know it, in my mind and heart, I am taken by her.

I could see the shock and sadness in Aiah's eyes but I immediately looked away.

"That's it? Aren't you going to explain your answer, Mikhs?" Gwen said, her eyes were rolling.

"Why would I? It wasn't even part of your question. Also, weren't you the one who made the rule of one question policy?" I fired back.

I saw how they roll their eyes at me. I mentally smiled because the unsettling feeling I'd been holding since then was now gone.

It was 2 in the morning when we decided to stop because most of them were already wasted except for me and Aiah.

When I knew they were all asleep, I decided to go to the rooftop to gasp some fresh air and ease my mind.

I stopped in my tracks when I saw a familiar figure standing near the edge of the rooftop. I don't know how long I watched her, all I know is that I really miss her presence. For once, I will let my heart be selfish.

"Mikha?"

I was back from my trance when I heard her call my name.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you're here. I guess, I'll be taking my leave now." I said and gave her an apologetic look.

"No, no, no. Stay, please. Stay with me, Mikha." Her voice wasn't loud but it was enough for me to hear. She also has this look that I couldn't decipher.

"If I stay, would you give me the reason why you suddenly changed and left me?"

"I'm sorry, Mikhs. It wasn't my intention to hurt you."

"Maybe, it wasn't really your intention to hurt me. But you know what, Aiah? You still did. And the sad part was, that pain is irreversible."

For the longest time, I faked my feelings so well no one noticed how dead I was inside. I was so good at hiding it to the point that even I believed myself. I'm numb from the pain. I feel like that's the most normal thing I can feel, to be hurt.

Then I mentally said to myself,

If you only knew that from the first day to the last day and everything in between, you got me wrapped around your finger and no amount of pain can replace the love I have for you.