Pardon My Emotions

11. Hey, Jealousy!

Trust is an understatement. I don't think Kasper will ever understand how much he means to me and how I'd put my trust in him as if my life depended on it, because for now, I know he will ignore that fact.

Tuwing iniisip ko na hindi makikita ni Kasper ang sarili niya sa perspective ko, hindi ko maiwasang hindi panghinaan ng loob.

I know I should be giving myself a break because we were just fine a while ago. After cutting my bangs and saying my new look suddenly reminded him of Sawako, my thoughts were all over the place.

Just like that, Kasper lowered his guard and openly praised me. However, kahit pa anong compliment ang gawin niya, at the end of the day, mags-stick pa rin naman siya sinabi niyang iiwasan niya ako.

He even asked me to go home after that; it was pretty late, and Damian's probably looking for me already. When he walked me out of the gate, I looked at him once and smiled before turning away.

When I reached our very own gate next to them, I still thought about that last interaction-the what seemed like a speedy progress between us two contrary to what I've expected.

I should be celebrating by now, probably skipping along the pavement if I was in the right mind, but I just can't.

I thought I was never going to feel like this, my lips were stretching and my chest was about to burst from the amount of happiness I felt earlier, but nothing beats the pang of loneliness after that.

Pakiramdam ko sa gitna ng progress namin ni Kasper, hindi ko pa rin deserve na huminga at maging masaya kahit papaano. Kahit pa okay kami sa ngayon, iniisip ko pa rin na hindi 'yun enough. Para bang inoorasan ako.

The election period is in forty-five days, and after the result, we will still stay here in Aurora for another seven weeks, even that felt so short.

I could only release a short sigh as soon as I reached my room, plopped down the soft mattress, and watched my reflection in the full-length mirror across the bedroom. Kasper cut my bangs perfectly, they're the right length and volume. I don't see the resemblance to Sawako's, but I think he only said it to make me feel better, thinking I might be disappointed about the result.

But see, I trusted him, and it came out well.

When I woke up the next morning, Damian only looked at me with an imaginary question mark over his head, but he was fast to get over it. He said that the bangs suited me somehow. I knew what he meant by that, and I didn't think much about it because I refused to get another headache.

I got the same reaction from Dad and Tiya Amor when they saw it.

Three days have passed, and the election campaign officially starts. Just like Kasper said when he cut my bangs a few days ago, the bruise on my forehead healed faster because it's only a small bump. Though it's better now, I didn't feel like cutting my bangs was a bad decision. Either way, it did me a favor on various things.

Later that afternoon, Dad briefed us about what was going to happen at the rally. He had run in position before, he was a councilor first, but we've never been there to witness him during campaigns or come in person and congratulate him upon winning, so we pretty much have no idea what to expect.

I mean, it might just be me because Damian's actually active in school, student government elections, and all that. Pang-class elections lang ako dati.

For now, sa mismong barangay namin sila mauunang mag-held ng rally, the rest mangyayari sa mga susunod na araw. Narinig ko rin na magd-door to door sila, but that's going to happen in the next few weeks. Aurora has eight barangays in total; every barangay has approximately a thousand populations.