Noma and Kea

CHAPTER 35

Chapter 35

We start having dinner at the round dinner table inside the house, James is asking me question and we are making small talk, I can see where Kea gets his love of History, James is just the same. I told them how we met and crazy enough James pulled the same stunt, he pulled up outside their place and just refused to leave without driving them to work.

“Let’s go talk” says James to Kea and the 2 stand up, walk off and disappear somewhere.
“I will keep saying this forever, your home is beautiful” I say, they smile and nod, “How many bedrooms?”
“Well it has 6, 2 are for guests, our masters and the other 3 rooms, we have converted into our home offices” says Imani.
“Being a Lawyer and Doctor, must be stressful, and having a husband that’s Business man must be as difficult” I say.
“Guessing Kea, sometimes come back at late hours” says Vuno, I nod, “Don’t worry it gets better, you’ll get used to it”.
“Just remember he works hard. Hell I might say, he works harder than his brothers combined” says Imani, who chimes in, “Refill anyone?”.
“I need to use the bathroom, but yes” I say and stand up.
“Upstairs, make a left, then a right, then another right, 1st door to your left” says Imani, who stands up with me. I follow the instructions and reach the bathroom. I wash my hands and walk out, I scoff because I’m lost. I wander around the house and walk up to a door, that’s creaked open, and I can see James and Kea, but they can not see me.
“Does she know what we do?” asks James. I’m taken aback. What does he mean?
“No, she’s one of the good things in my life, I would hate to ruin it with the truth” says Kea. James nods, “I heard you and your brothers are expanding, Motion and something about Trucks” says James.
“Yeah, we found a place in Braam, so we have already designed it to the standard of Motion, because it’s gonna be bigger than the one in Hatfield. The truck thing is still a working process, but I was thinking because Sheraton is closing down, we could also open a Crown in Pretoria” Kea suggests.
“That’s a smart move for you” says James.
“Come on now, it’s a good move for all of us” says Kea, oh they just talking business, “I mean it’s not easy being a Drug dealer without looking like one”.
My eyes widened, my heart skips a beat, did he say what I think I heard, “How are operations?” “We moved all the product, you gave us, as we speak money is flowing in” he says, James… I look back and Vuno is walking up to me. “Hey there you are?” she says.
“Sorry, I got lost in this place” I say, hiding my emotions, and we walk downstairs.

My body is literally going cold from the news I just heard. Him a Drug dealer, my man a Drug dealer? We sit down, and I force a smile as the conversation flows again. Kea and James reappear from their talks. He walks up to me and kisses my cheek, I can’t even look at him. They start serving Ice cream and chocolate cake and I can’t even eat, I’m just picking at the dessert, because I know if I eat, the food will come back up. After the dessert, we say our goodbyes and exchange phone numbers with all except James. The whole car ride; I’m staring out the window, he looks at me and keeps looking at the road. The roars of the V8 engine fill the silence we are in, the purple E-Toll lights, flying over us. I don’t even know what to do. Do I wanna stay with him? Is this the man I wanna introduce to my parents, my family? The promise I made to Lindy. SMH.

I keep staring out the window as all these thoughts rush in my head, we pull into the driveway and into the garage. Involuntarily, my eyes start watering up and tears start falling, before he can switch off the car. I open the door and run inside, “Noma” I hear him call and I cry further. I run upstairs and into his bedroom. I fall onto the bed and cradle myself. I can hear him run upstairs and stops at the door, knocks, he stands outside for a few minutes and walks in. I’m tears deep and finding it hard to breath.
He walks towards me, and gently places his hand on my body, “Don’t fucking touch me!” I shout.
“What the fuck, yini manje?”(What is it) he asks.
“It all makes sense now, that cash from those months ago, Lucas getting shot, the cars, clothes and the guns the fucking guns” I say panting, “I should’ve left you, when I had the chance”. “MaKhoza, the words you speak hurt deeply, what are you talking?” he says.
“The fucking drugs!” I shout, “I know!” his eyes widen with fear.
His mouth open and stuck, “Tell me I’m wrong?” I say and sit up, please tell me I’m wrong, tell me I was only hearing things and its not true.
He stands up, “uhm” he mumbles speechless.
I get up and start beating on his chest, “Is it true?” I ask.
He stands there taking the pounds, “I had no choice” he breaks out.
“You had no choice, Kea I gave you my womanhood, I fought with my sister because of you! I made such choices! You gonna tell me you had no choice!” I shout.
He hugs me, he has tears in his eyes, “I had no choice, we would’ve starved if I didn’t…” he says, “When mamRadebe passed we were 16. Three 16-year-olds and a 14-year-old left alone in the world. The money she left us, was enough to get us groceries for a while, and my part time wasn’t enough”
“What you are saying, still has no justification for what you and your brothers do” I say.
He lets go of me, “It’s easy for you to say!” he shouts.
“What!” I shout back.
“You don’t know what it’s like, going to bed hungry every fucking day,” I take a few steps back walking around the room, I can’t believe what I’m hearing, “Watching the women who is raising you, starve herself to make sure you, eat” he says as tears roll down his face, “She died making sure, we didn’t starve, she starved herself for us!” he shouts, fists clenched, I’m panting and finding it hard to catch his breath.
“After she passed, we couldn’t even fucking bury her” he says, I look at him, tears rolling down my face.
“I came home one day, and there was no food in the fridge, I could only depend on one man, Saint and his wives, they gave us food, but we weren’t charity cases so he gave me jobs as a drug runner, deliver to buyers and I get a good cut. When I made enough, I got Lethabo and Thapelo involved”
“If me selling drugs is what keeps me and my brothers from starving ever again, then I will sell” he says with a tone of assurance that says if you don’t like it, you can leave.
I shake my head, “I’m done. I’m fucking done” I try and walk away, to the bathroom.
He grabs my leg on his knees crying, “You said, you wouldn’t leave, you said you would stay with me, if I was a Dealer, Criminal or Gangster as long it was me” he says.
I can’t believe he is using something from so long ago, when I didn’t know the full truth, “Please don’t leave me, you said you wouldn’t leave” his head pressed on my leg. I stand there, why am I even considering it?

I lift him up and he looks at me, I grab his face and he looks at me, I wipe his tears. I hug him tight. I don’t know what I’m doing, I guess the saying, ‘Love makes you stupid’ is true. “I’m not leaving”.
He hugs me tighter and pulls away, “Are you sure?” I nod. He kisses me, and kisses me again, “I love you” he says.
“I love you too” I say.