just behind you ~ Katsuki Bakugou x fem O/C

home alone

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TW
trouble with eating, childhood trauma, blunt-force injury
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I return to an empty home, my entire body limp with exhaustion. I get in, locking the door behind me and flipping on the overhead lights. The silence wraps around me like a familiar, cold blanket.

I chuck my bag carelessly on the sofa, going to the fridge, then pause. Hunger gnaws at my stomach, and I relish the feeling. I don't want the empty comfort to leave. Not just yet.

I take a cold shower, washing the dry sweat off, and slipping on my black lacy nightdress. I leave the lights on downstairs.

Sitting against my headboard, I stare silently at the opposite wall, all my energy gone. My limbs feel as though they're seeping into my sheets, and my body feels numb, hollow, without the familiar sounds of people around me.

This always seems to happen. My sister, my brother, my father and friends all chase away the loneliness when I'm around them, then when they're gone, and I'm left with my thoughts, my mind wakes up and I'm drowning again. Thoughts I can't even decipher myself, and I can't pull myself out of them - left to sink into my sadness, either feeling too much, or nothing at all.

I let out a deep breath, shutting my eyes and tilting my head back as my ears ring, echoing the silence of the empty house.

I wonder whether Kirishima thought I was weak when I couldn't keep up with him. I regret taking my Tshirt off around him. I wonder whether it made him uncomfortable to see me displaying my scar like that, maybe he thought I was trying to get attention.

I pull my knees up to my chest.

I wonder whether Ashido actually likes me, or invited me this weekend just because all the other girls are going. I wonder why Bakugou seems to find me so irrelevant. I wonder if I even made a lasting impression on my teachers and friends during my first week at UA, and whether they found me annoying.

"Jesus Sayuri, don't be so annoying."

I stared up at mum, dropping the cord of the iron. I was just trying to keep her company, knowing how much she hated when dad made her do his chores.

I didn't know it back then, but he was just trying to make enough money to support his family, it wasn't his fault that he didn't have enough time to take care of himself.

"Sorry mum." I mumbled, looking up at her as my tongue fiddled with the gap in my front teeth.

"Just... for gods sake... get out of here." Mums teeth clenched, the wrinkles on her face becoming more prominent.

My tongue prodded at the sensitive hole in my gum as I nodded, my gaze dropping. Before I left, I wrapped my arms around her from behind, wanting to let her know I still loved her, that we didn't need dad.

This action surprised her though, and she swung around, the side of the iron coming into contact with my skull.

I reeled back, feeling something trickling down my head as sparks flew in my vision.

"Baby I'm sorry, I didn't... for fucks sake you scared me... I didn't mean to... oh my god... Akio!!!"

I felt the sobs bubbling up in my throat, but bit them back down. Mum hated it when I cried, said it gave her a headache. My tongue jabbed up at my bloody tooth gap as I stood there, staring at the swimming floor.

My stomach ached, and I know the harsh motions had made one of my stitches rip free.

A pair of arms scooped me up, the chest I was propped up against vibrating with yells. My sense of hearing was muffled as I clutched my head, staring over his shoulder at the floor.

I focused on the gaps in the floor, the dust building up in the neglected cracks of wood, as if the floorboards were stockpiling the memories of everyone who'd walked over them, keeping their imprints packed tightly together.

Yawning, I wrap my arms around myself, using my quirk to turn the overhead light in my bedroom off, leaving just my nightlight on. My room glows softly in the orange light, fuzzy shadows creeping on my floor.

I trace my surroundings with my eyes. My eyes rake over the hanging chair in the corner, my clothes hanger and shelves built into the wall, my study desk, my shelves stacked with hero pop-figures and trinkets, the lights on my ceiling, the purple guitar gathering dust on my wall.

I sigh, turning onto my side and checking the time on my phone. The brightness burns my eye, so I turn it down.

9:43pm

Feeling unreasonably hollow and physically drained, I place my phone gently down on my bedside table, rolling onto my front.

The silence presses against my ears as I settle on my stomach, soothing like a lullaby. My eyes droop, and I allow my fatigue to get ahold of me, dragging my body under into a deep sleep.

I sleep heavily, dreams filled with begging and pleading, dewy grass and the corridors of UA during the night, the silvery moon reaching through the crimson-tinged windows as I run away from the shadows, and the deep-settled grasp of grief.

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