♮Idol au
♮"I don't think I can do it."
"Of course you can, I believe in you.
Don't worry, okay?
I'll be right here backstage for you."
Book 3 in the Dreaming series
Book cover: @ chaaxou on instagram
And I'll still see it until I die You're the loss of my life
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When Hayun woke up the next day, she woke up with a slightly clearer mind than before. The night had been restless, her thoughts churning endlessly, but somewhere in the sleepless hours, she had managed to piece together the words she needed to say.
She had replayed everything in her mind, over and over, until it almost felt like a script. She knew what she wanted to communicate to Jisung, how she was really feeling, the fears that had been gnawing at her, and how much she needed to push past them.
She couldn't keep holding it all in. The weight of unspoken words was becoming unbearable, suffocating her. She needed to let go of her fear and just do it. She had to talk to him, to tell him everything that had been eating away at her.
Jisung's texts had gone unread through the night. She saw them all when she finally gathered the courage to check her phone in the morning- dozens of messages, all laced with concern, apologies, and pleas to talk.
He had been desperate to reach her, to make things right, but Hayun had shut herself off. She hadn't known what to say, how to respond, until she had given herself the time and space to think.
Jisung hadn't slept much either. The thought of her alone with her thoughts, shutting him out, was agonizing. At one point, he had even considered going to her room in the middle of the night, just to see her, to make sure she was okay. But he had held back, respecting the space she had asked for. He knew what it was like to need time alone, to clear your head before facing the world again.
For Hayun, everything had been a mess.
The stress of her career, the expectations she placed on herself, the pressure of being perfect- it all felt like it was crushing her. She could barely breathe under the weight of it all. And in the midst of that, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was somehow the problem.
If only she were a better performer, a better dancer, a better idol and a better daughter. If only she could just be what everyone expected of her. And if only she could respect Jisung's boundaries more, stop questioning his love for her so much.
But the doubts were relentless, gnawing at her despite her best efforts to push them aside.
No matter how hard she tried, the insecurity persisted. It was always there, lurking just beneath the surface, whispering that she wasn't enough. Not for her career, not for her relationship, not for anything.
At 11am, Hayun finally mustered the courage to reply to Jisung's messages. She asked him to meet her at the company at midday, on the 12th floor.
It was a quiet place, mostly empty offices, with a spacious area and a beautiful view of the city. It was the kind of place where she could gather her thoughts, where they could talk without interruptions.
