Houses of the Holy

James Potter

TW: anxiety, negative self talk (hahahaaaa yes its a theme) 

Lighten up while you still can

Don't even try to understand
Just find a place to make your stand and take it easy - Eagles, Take It Easy

James

James has always thought of himself as the kind one, the soft place anyone can land. And most of the time, he is. (Alright, maybe his ego's talking, but he needs a little boost, right? Otherwise, it's all a bit hollow, and that's no good.) He prides himself on being calm, on being steady, on being the anchor. He's the one who tries so hard to be everything. He's the one who's always there when someone's down, and the one who fades into the background when everyone else is happy and whole. They need him when they're low, but when they're high... James just blends in.

But today, Sirius is decidedly down, and James feels a guilty relief at being needed.

"Reg's gone," is all Sirius mutters as he slumps onto James's bed, looking miserable.

James glances up from his Quidditch strategy book. "What? When did you last see him?"

"Potions." Sirius sighs, a rare look of helplessness crossing his face. James moves to his side, pulling him into a hug.

"Did you check his usual spots?"

Sirius gives a small shrug. "Kind of. I just...figured you'd know where to start. Always the reasonable one, eh, Prongs?"

James laughs softly. "Alright, Black. Shall we?"

Sirius nods, eyes brightening a little. "Yeah. Please."

There's something about Sirius, James thinks. A certain light, even when he's dimmed like this. James isn't attracted to him, not like that, but he can appreciate beauty when he sees it. And Sirius is striking in that almost unnerving way that all the Blacks are, with his long, dark hair and sharp features. But there's something softer about him today, something raw.

They step out into the corridor, where Remus appears, looking concerned. James smiles slightly. "I'll check the library," he says, already turning. "You two try the Astronomy Tower?"

Sirius nods, linking his arm through Remus's, and James watches them for a moment before heading off.

James likes the library. It's warm, quiet, smells faintly of old paper and lavender—a little like his mum. Not that he'd ever admit it, of course. Golden boys aren't supposed to like libraries, right? They're supposed to be out causing mayhem. But if it weren't for these late-night study sessions, he wouldn't make it through his classes.

He spends ten minutes wandering, weaving through the towering stacks, fingers trailing over spines as he goes. That's when he spots someone curled up by the fire, a book forgotten in their lap. Black curls fall over a familiar face, slack with sleep. Regulus.

James approaches, kneeling beside him. "Hey, Reg, wake up," he murmurs, lightly tapping his shoulder.

The younger boy stirs, brow furrowing, but doesn't fully wake. James tries again, shaking his shoulder a little. "Regulus."

Regulus's eyes blink open, and his face shifts from relaxed to annoyed as he registers who's in front of him. "Potter, get off me," he mutters. "I don't need coddling."

James frowns, stung by the dismissal. "Sirius asked me to find you. He was worried."

Regulus huffs. "And? I didn't ask for you to help."

James shrugs it off, masking the hurt. "Whatever. Just come along, please? It'll make Sirius happy."

Regulus rolls his eyes, then reluctantly grabs his things and stands. "Fine."

They walk back in silence. Regulus's gaze is fixed stubbornly on the ground as James leads him, frowning as they approach Gryffindor Tower.

Regulus scowls, crossing his arms. "I am not going in there."

Just then, Sirius notices them, and his face lights up. "Reggie! You're alive!" He crosses the room, pulling Regulus into a tight hug.

James watches them, feeling a quiet warmth in his chest at the sight. Regulus's expression softens, just barely—a tiny crack in his usual mask. Sirius doesn't notice it, but James does. For some reason, seeing that shift brings him a small satisfaction.

As Sirius and Regulus talk, James looks around the room. Remus is curled up with a book, listening quietly to the brothers' conversation, and Peter is deep in a chess match with Marlene and Lily. Everyone is occupied, happy, content. And once again, James isn't needed. A familiar ache settles in his chest, but he pushes it down. They don't need him now; that's all there is to it.

***

This boy's too young to be singing
The blues, ah, ah - Elton John, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Regulus

Regulus feels the weight of James's gaze on him as he talks to Sirius, something curious and unspoken in those hazel eyes. And there it is—the tiniest crack in Potter's facade, the smallest falter in his otherwise perfect demeanor. Regulus stores that moment away, feeling a twisted satisfaction. The perfect Potter—unraveling, just a little. He doesn't know what it means yet, but he intends to find out. To latch onto it, pull at it until he can see what lies beneath all that sunny charm.

Sirius is rambling on about a sleepover. "I'll kick Prongs out of his bed for you. He won't mind, right, Prongs?"

James looks up, and his expression shifts back to that calm smile. "Hm? Yeah, sure. Go ahead."

Regulus nods. "Fine, but I'll need to grab my things from my dorm."

Later, on his way back to Slytherin, Regulus finds his friends lounging in the common room. Barty perks up when he sees him. "Reggiekins!"

Regulus rolls his eyes. "Don't call me that."

Barty grins, clearly unbothered. "You love me, really."

Regulus shakes his head with a smirk. "Hardly."

Evan, always the quiet one, laughs softly, while Pandora and Dorcas exchange smirks, no doubt plotting some new prank or escapade.

Barty might drive him mad, but he's family in a way Regulus's actual family could never be. He's the only one who's seen Regulus break, and they've leaned on each other since their first year. Together, they've carved out a place in the shadows, a corner where they're safe from the world's cruelty.

It isn't perfect. None of them are. But in a life filled with masks, it's close enough.

A/N: nooooo i'm not cringing, you are, (I hope you're not but like, I wouldn't be shocked if you are) anyways, double chapter today, yay. Also, be nice to yourself today, you're lovely :)
- Organic x