Houses of the Holy

Game Face

TW: Negative self talk(shocker I know) Swearing? Sorta

Take me in your arms

Rock me, rock me a little while (take, me, take me)

Oh, with you darling

Rock me, rock me a little while - The Doobie Brothers, Take Me In Your Arms

Regulus

Regulus doesn't like this. Doesn't like the feelings. Yuck.

It makes his skin crawl just thinking about James, no, Potter, last night.

Regulus had woken up to see the other boy sitting up, gasping for air. It honestly wasn't a pleasant sight, not because James -for the love of Merlin, Potter- because Potter was ugly, quite the contrary, but the fact that he was.... well, Regulus doesn't know how to deal with it. James had been panicking, obviously Regulus knows what panic attacks are, between him, Barty, and Evan, they've had enough to get it. But Potter- oh whatever- James is different. Regulus is supposed to enjoy watching him break. But- he looked so... broken, Regulus hadn't known what to do. James seems to be ignoring it today though, eating his food and talking too loud.

Regulus sits at the breakfast table next to Sirius, who is currently whinging about being hungover, and Remus who is sitting on Sirius's other side, amused.

"Possibly don't drink half a bottle of fire whisky next time?" Regulus says sourly, trying to ignore the slight throbbing in his own head, he didn't even drink that much.

Sirius flips him off, "Fuck off, unless you have sympathy, be quiet."

Regulus rolls his eyes, and Remus snorts.

"You as well Lupin! You don't get privileges." Sirius huffs.

Remus rests his hand on Sirius's thigh, and Sirius promptly goes quiet, cheeks flushing slightly.

Regulus suppresses the urge to laugh at his brother.

Bloody oblivious twats. He thinks, albeit a little softly, as he watches Remus and Sirius.

"Regulus! You look... well rested." James says.

Regulus scowls, "You look like shit."

James's smile falters, another crack, this one bigger, deeper, cutting across his cheek. Regulus wants to dig his fingers in a rip it apart. Or possibly get a Band-Aid and fix it. Bloody Merlin, he's soft.

James brushes it off with a joke, "Me? Nah I'm too handsome to be affected by a lack of sleep."

Peter and Sirius laugh, and Regulus files the small titbit of the real James away into a box in his head.

So he's in there, somewhere. Underneath the mask, there's a James that's real.

Regulus will crack open his chest cavity if he must.

"-egulus." Someone is talking, and Regulus looks up.

"Pardon?"

"I said did you enjoy your sleepover," Peter says.

"Oh, yeah sure, it was good." Totally didn't share a bed with James 'I'm fine' Potter, or watch him have a panic attack.

James is looking at the wall, something cold swirling under the surface of his smile, eyes slightly unfocused, like he's thinking about something else, far away.

Gotcha.

Regulus smirks.

***

Loneliness can get you down