Nadine's Stuck.

TEN

Nadine's POV:

I promise myself I'd follow my rules and I did. The second one, so far. I stayed up all night. I can only hope that Cade won't notice my tiredness. I'm sure he won't. I guess I'm not the most noticeable person.

When I hear Cade start to stir awake, I close my eyes and pretend that I was sleeping.

I hear him walk to my bed. I feel him shake my shoulder. I don't want him to touch me anymore.

"Rosewood," he says. "Rosewood, we have school. Get up." His voice is soft and kind. But I'm not tricked. I know that people are influenced by the people they hang around with, so I'm sure he's been influenced by Riley in some way. I wonder if he knows what happened and this is all just some sick joke.

I let out a tired groan, pretending to stretch, nonchalantly pushing his hand away. "I don't feel good..."

Louder, Nadia, louder. You aren't crying anymore, you can be loud.

"Oh. You're sick?"

I nod and he looks at my skeptically. "I don't know, Rosewood. I know you said you were 'socially troubled', so if this is just to get out of schoo--"

"No." I interrupt him. Bold move on my part. Is it weird that I feel proud of myself for interupting him? That I feel proud of myself for talking? I know I shouldn't feel this way. It comes so easily to other people so why can't I be like other people?

"I feel sick."

He shrugs. "If you say so. I can stay here with you if you want?"

I shake my head.

"Alright."

Cade gets ready for school and I keep up my best sick act.

. . .

I wait a few minutes when Cade leaves, just to make sure. When I'm 100% sure he's gone and won't be coming back because he forgot something, I get out of bed, get dressed, and start my mission: get rid of everything regression. I start with Rosewood's Little Rules, crumbling the paper in a ball, along with the punishments, and throw them in the trash.

I look around the room to find my next target. How about pacifiers?

I spend the next twenty-something minutes getting rid of anything regression or anuthing that might trigger my regression. The dorm now looks like normal teenagers live here, and not like a five-year-old does.

Normal.

I wish I was normal.

I wish I could gain weight. I wish I didn't cut myself. I wish I was pretty like Xena, Elana, or Akiko. I wish people wouldn't call me anorexic.

I've learned that wishing doesn't get you anything, just like crying, because life isn't a fairytail. You can't wish upon a star and make everything better. The world isn't a place filled with mermaids and princes that come and save you from an evil dragon. The world is a place filled with Rileys and people like my dad. People like Cade who take things for granted. I know he does by the way he looked at me when I said I had no phone.

That's another thing I wish for, money. So my mom doesn't have to work her ass off everyday.

I go back over to my bed with the only thing I didn't get rid of. Zara. I don't think I can ever get rid of Zara. She makes me feel safe. Like a she'll protect me from anything. And I know Zara won't make fun of me. Zara won't touch me. Zara won't call me anorexic.

I hug her tight and I don't ever want to let go of her.

My sweet bunny. My Zara.

. . .

I don't know how long I spent on my bed spacing out, but I assume hours because I can hear the dorm door opening, meaning Cade is back from his classes.

I don't bother to look towards the door until I hear it.

The voice. The voice that haunts my dreams. The voice that makes me want to go invisible so he won't see me.

I look at the door and see Elana, Noah, Akiko, Kai, Cade, and Riley entering the dorm. Riley glances at me and I see something in his eyes, but his body and everything else about his face has no reaction. I can't place what that thing in his eyes were, but they make feel dirty.

"Riley, Nadine Rosewood, goes by Nadia. She's my freshmen. Rosewood, Riley." Cade introduces us as if we haven't seen each other before. As if Riley hadn't seen my body. My body. It's supposed to be mine.

Riley nods. "Nice to meet you, Nadia." He doesn't look at me, instead, he puts his backpack on the floor and focuses on taking his shoes off.

Is he serious? Does he not recognize me? No, I know he does by that look he had in his eyes so why is he acting like this? Maybe it's for the better. Maybe if we both act like it didn't happen then it didn't. Then I really am overreacting and I'll forget about it.

"She's a lil' shy." Kai says. I hadn't even realized I didn't respond.

"I see that."

"Yeah, when we went to Dalia's Diner yesterday, she barley said a word. She's like some kind of mute." Akiko slips her shoes off.

"Akiko!" Elana exclaims.

"What?"

"Why do always say things like that?"

I don't know why Akiko is so keen on making me feel like shit. I tried to talk, but I couldn't, and when I did, I wasn't loud enough. What's the point of talking when no one can hear you?

I ignore Elana and Akiko's banter because it's useless. No matter how many times Elana stiffle backs a giggle and tells Akiko she can't say things like whatever she's saying, Akiko will still say it. And if not her, someone else will because they're all thinking it.

I feel like every part of my body that Riley touched is on fire. I am on fire.

. . .

Check out the first chapter of my new book 'In His Eyes' on my second account KeepingKeroppi

. . .

Word count: 1031!