Complexity is the Majestic - Book 2

Lisa

Am I an addict?

How'd I get like this? I try and think back before the time I met Vera. How'd I cope back then? Or is she in my life for a reason?

What about Lisa?

Lisa is a cam girl I didn't as much as meet as I found. For a brief stint this past summer I attempted to ween myself off of Vera. I used cam sites as a crutch. You could just say "stop going..." ya know like why couldn't I just stop? I think I kind of fractured and created this co-dependency on the female form in any way shape or possible, but it had to be more than just some lifeless video. I like women. I love them really. I love to make them laugh, I like to talk to them, watch them, see them smile and yeah I'm a sexual being. When I'm not working I can't think of a single thing that would help me decompress better than a woman.

Maybe I need to work on being just an average guy again. Yeah ok let's shelve that for now.

Back to cam sites. The effect didn't really work. Cam sites were more interactive than other forms of fantasy online but they were no strip club- a place were you see a selection, the nuance of want, the savoring touch of special and the entanglement of interaction.

However along the way I did find a few gems online. Lisa is her stage name and her channel is her basement apartment in New York City. Most cam shows are boring, its a girl staring at her web cam giving it all away- like everything has a price, flashes, show some cookie, hell lets suck on a dildo etc. Most shows are raunchy romps, but sometimes you find a show thats different. Lisa's show was much more real. She didn't show ya the prize, sure she teased and showed you everything else, but no prize, no cookie.

Her show was crafted- not just any one girl in front a camera doing tricks, she made things, she made the experience in watching her a show, seriously the amount of time this girl put into being a cam girl as a career is impressive.

She's young, beautiful, 23 ish year old gal. Living in NYC, seemingly lesbian as far as I gather but her channel full of wanting men, actually most are regulars. Self included. I'm a long time fan of her show. Its filled with drinking games, comedy bits, card games, movie night, art night, token amounts for everything you can think of, her snapchat, her art, date raffle, her amazon wish list, spanks, flashes, dances, spins, turns, duck dance or dance with oven mitts on. She makes her show alive and as result she's one of the top 50 girls on a site with over 5000 I figure if not more.

Tonight she'll pull down over 2k in just 5 hrs having fun, and exposing her true self online. I say true self because Lisa shares everything. Her commute around NYC. The food she eats. Her friends and night life. Her family, her dog, her plants, the new loft she built. Details of construction, agony working with contractors. She shares her down days, her depression, her struggles and anxiety.

She's unique in all the assets of my ongoing addiction, my majestic- in that I really don't know her or have a real connection with her outside of the tokens, tips and artifacts she leaves her regulars to consume- videos, photos, herself exposed for all.

Most of which I don't consume. I rarely take her up on a video. I don't pay for the special NSFW snapchat access. I just want the average all around Lisa.

Is she the new stripper?

She still sells the fantasy, she creates a kind of alluring pull to her show, her life. She's really the next Lonely Girl 15- the web series ran for two years in 2006 that helped launch Youtube into a total all consuming platform of looking into the lives of people. Course LonelyGirl15 turned out to be a staged drama in the end, a hoax. Lisa could be the same thing for all I know- her production values are outa this world. She looks real. Seems real. Is she real?

She's more representative of the new emerging fantasy- consumable thru multiple mediums, cam online, video online, snapchat mobile, a fantasy you can send gifts, share songs with, inspire her to do crazy things on camera. She's a real girl- just one you don't really have in your life. I can see her regulars codependence on her. Every time she's online, her posse of men is present, all giving her a trickle of cash for the experience of Lisa in their lives.

Vera couldn't do this. Its too much. Vera thrives on the routine of being two people, herself and then this persona named Vera for a set number hours in a day, four days a week. And then the door closes and girl gets back to work on the rest of her reality where no cameras penetrate, no chat stream interacts with her, she's isolated, comfortable, alone.

Vera is Engineered Duality.

Thats the new crack for me- i'm engineering my own duality following her by suit. Lisa represents the total transparency. Sure she hides a bit but not much. I sense no dual life she's living. Sure her folks likely don't know she's a high ranking cam girl on one of the world's biggest cam sites on the planet.

Money wise, Lisa earns more due to access and scale.

Vera can only be with one guy a time. She can farm and prep and mold regulars but she can only dance to one man at a time, least for real money. The stage dance is about grazing, the real money is in the dances, the VIPs. There she's throttled by the reality of the club. The reality of one per serving experience.

Lisa can stream to 400 men all at the same time. And even with only say 40 of those men tipping well, she benefits by the scale of the transaction and its multiplier effect.

In terms of the betrayal- Lisa is likely less of a true threat to marriage. Yet she's representatively more alluring at times as you see the life. Online you're less loyal as well, I mean sure I like Lisa's show but there's always another 4999 channels to watch, searching for the next wonder girl online, seeking that slice of fantasy for reasons unknown.