BRR! - A Sturniolo Triplet Special

october fifth

GHOST GIRL

!! BIG WARNING FOR: depression, panic attacks, the loss of a loved one, mentions of suicide, and many more. If you don't feel comfortable reading this chapter, DO NOT. it's definitely a heavy topic and hurt to write, but also very important in the grief process to many people, seeing how others cope with grief and loss as well. If there's ever a moment where you're struggling to cope with the loss of a loved one, ALWAYS reach out to someone, you are NOT alone !!

Chris hated her. Hated her every being. He saw her face in every girl he talked to. His ex-girlfriend. She died in an accident coming home from a party. Chris, he never even realized for three days that she was gone. Never once payed attention to the news coverage, didn't realize the lack of responses to his texts, or even the good mornings she stopped sending. 

But here he is, two years later with the guilt eating away at him. How could he have been so fucking stupid? He missed her so fucking bad, and he wasn't even there for her when she died. She died alone, scared. Every night Chris would wake up to hear a voice, so much like hers, screaming and crying and begging for him to come save her. 

Chris was in his bathroom, washing cold water over his face after one particularly terrifying nightly nightmares of his. It was so realistic to him, he almost felt like he was there too, had he been there, she wouldn't have died. He swore to himself, he would have made sure she lived. His whole body was racked with chills, and the feeling of a distant cold was washing upon him. One moment he was hot, the next freezing. Chris steadied himself, using a towel to wipe away water droplets in his eyes. He stared back at his reflection. He didn't particularly like what he saw. He didn't really see himself as unattractive, he mostly felt the guilt eating away at him, and that's what made him view himself as ugly. As a terrible person. He should have driven her home, but instead he was too focused on his dumb birthday. Chris blinked at himself in the mirror a few times. In the back corner of the bathroom, there was in all her glory. he cheeks sunken in, tired eyes, but her hair was flawless. She was wearing some sort of white dress. "Let go Chris." the woman in white whispered before her figure seemed to glitch as if she were a video game character, and she disappeared. Let go? Chris whipped around, trying to find some evidence of her. He felt like he was going insane. His tears bubbled up and slid down his cheeks and he fell to the ground against the door as sobs racked his poor body. Let go of what? he questioned himself. 

He already felt like he let you go, and now that he's seen you everywhere, he doesn't want to let you go, not now not ever. He wasn't ready to say goodbye to you when you died, he fucking cursed himself every night for taking advantage of your presence. How was he sleeping soundly in his bed without even knowing you passed away.

Chris lost track of how long he was crying in the bathroom for, until the pounding on the other side got to his head and he eventually got up, sliding away from the door letting whoever was on the other side in. It was Matt. The older brother crouched down, watching in pure agony as Chris fought the inner battle in his head. His deep, rough breaths, messy hair he wouldn't stop tugging on. It was bringing Chris to the edge of insanity, Matt only had some expertise in certain mental health fields, but this, this was something Chris needed to get through all alone. Of course, with his friends and family to support him, but if it got worse, Matt would definitely bring him in to therapy. Matt eventually was able to bring Chris to his feet and walk the shaky boy to his bed. "It's alright." Matt reassured, tucking Chris back into bed. Matt knew better than to leave Chris right now. Chris was a very touchy and clingy guy, Matt had no knowledge of how much this was actually tearing Chris apart. Matt almost prayed and begged every night for this pain to dissipate in his brother, he wanted nothing more than to take away his pain. Matt had no idea how bad it hurts to love someone so much, just for them to get ripped away, whilst you believed they were alive and safe at home.