FRANCESCA. ( the vampire diaries)

Chapter Fifteen

When I got home, I noticed two silhouettes standing on the porch. It was Stefan and Elena, standing side by side and looking up at the sky. I sighed and began to walk towards the door, as silently as possible so they wouldn't hear or see me.

They were standing close together, deep in conversation. They seemed engrossed in their talk, their faces inches apart. I couldn't hear their words from where I was—I mean, I could've listened into their conversation but I preferred not to.

I hesitated, debating whether to make my presence known or just slip inside. Then, before I could decide, Elena leaned in, and it was clear what was about to happen. I wasn't keen on intruding on their moment, but as I tried to quietly step back, my foot caught on a loose stone.

The resulting clatter was louder than I'd intended. Both Stefan and Elena froze, their heads snapping toward me. I winced as I straightened up, trying to look nonchalant.

"Oh, uh, sorry!" I said, raising my hands defensively. "Didn't mean to interrupt!"

Stefan's face turned from surprise to a mix of amusement and embarrassment. Elena looked a bit flustered but managed a polite smile. I couldn't help but feel a rush of awkwardness, the kind where you wish you could just evaporate into thin air.

"No worries," Stefan said, trying to recover from the moment. "We were just--"

"Yeah, just, you know, having a moment," Elena finished, her cheeks slightly pink.

I gave them a sheepish grin. "I guess I'll just... head inside."

As I turned to go, I heard Elena chuckle softly. "Goodnight, Francesca."

"Goodnight!" I called back, my voice a bit too high-pitched with relief as I hurried inside.

The moment the door shut behind me, I pressed my back against it, letting out a long, mortified sigh. I walked towards the couch and fell on top of it.

As I sank into the couch, a deeper, more unsettling feeling began to bubble up inside me. The realization that Stefan, with all his centuries of experience, had managed to form meaningful connections with people stung a bit. He now had Elena and watching them together stirred up a wave of envy in me—something I didn't think I'd feel because I've never felt it before.

For over a century, I had been detached, keeping everyone at arm's length. I'd convinced myself it was a choice, a protective measure to avoid complications. But seeing Stefan's ease with relationships, seeing how he allowed himself to care and be cared for. It hurt.

I wanted to connect with someone, to experience the warmth and intimacy that came so naturally to others, but something always held me back. It wasn't a matter of desire--I wanted it deeply, almost desperately it was embarrassing. Yet every time I came close, an invisible barrier would rise, preventing me from crossing into that space of vulnerability.

I didn't fully understand why I couldn't have what I so clearly wanted. It felt like a cruel joke, wanting something so intensely but being unable to grasp it. I sighed heavily, trying to clear my mind. It was maddening.

I knew I was capable of forming connections, of loving and being loved. I had felt it before, long ago. But something in me didn't let me remember it, and I didn't know why.

--

The next day, Stefan was all smiley and I knew why. He and Elena had finally kissed, and I didn't bother asking him about it. I didn't really feel up to knowing the details, but knowing my brother, he'd tell me sooner or later.

We were walking in the school's field together, but as soon as he had noticed Elena walking with Bonnie, he decided to approach her and leave me standing all alone without a word. God, he was becoming such a lovesick fool it made me want to vomit, and he just met the girl. I didn't have anything against Elena of course, she was a nice girl and I liked her, but she could do much better than Stefan.