Fast Lanes and Headlines - Toto Wolff

Memories

After finishing my work with Toto, which was surprisingly easy, he lets me write for my blog. Since my employment I hardly had any time or news to post about and now I can barely focus on anything besides the small memory I remember. It's like solving a puzzle and most the pieces are missing.
All I can think of are the goddamn missing pieces. 

Toto had brought me to my hotel room... and said goodbye. I don't know what you call what he did but in my memory, it felt so intimate, so over a line that should never be crossed and I can't help but blush every time I remember.
Thank god he can't see me behind that big office MacBook. Toto hasn't said a word about it and to be fair, he still thinks I don't remember a single thing. He seemed so shocked about it, I thought but what if it wasn't schock but relief. What if he is happy that I can't remember this moment where we so clearly shouldn't have ended up in the first place. Ordering me a cap is one thing but getting in with me, driving back, carrying my shoes, opening my door for me and touching me is another. My head goes back to Totos word from before
"And whatever happens in the club stays out of work."
Is the incident what he really was talking about?

Behind me somewhere, I can hear a fan blow and I look around. The office feel weirdly sterile, like a hospital. Thanks to whoever put a plant in here. Besides the agonising silence, there is Totos typing. I was about to excuse myself for the bathroom, just to flee for a second, when Toto speaks up

"Bit of a writers block?"

He peaks out from behind the screen and smiles at me

"What?"

"Well, I haven't heard you typing in quite a while and then I thought about it and realised the only news in f1 at the moment are the allegations about you and Lewis"

I had completely forgotten about them wreaking my brain about yesterday. Just in mere seconds, an uncomfortable feeling spreads in my stomach. My skin suddenly aware of the slight wind from the fan and the bright sun from outside. He said all of it with a shoulder shrug like it was casual but it isn't is it? Not me at least and it seems like it isn't either to Toto. He still looks at me like he asked me a question and I think to know what he wants to hear. No Toto I didn't sleep with him, no Toto we aren't secretly engaged and no Toto I don't even like him romantically but why do you care? This is all I want to ask. Why does he seem so incredibly bothered by these rumours and my friendship to Hamilton?

Toto Pov:

It shouldn't matter to me, it really shouldn't but I can't help it. Every time I check the news, I see another story and picture of Lewis and Mila together. They look great in each of the pictures and the way he looks at her, you could really think there is something going on. Of course, I am not dumb and I know how the media world works but she sat here just now and didn't say anything about it. She didn't even explain herself, like in the elevator.

Or like yesterday.

Three things Ive learned about Mila
-She says sorry a lot
-She always feels the need to explain herself
-She has problems with her parents (which explain the first two)

After her excessive dancing with Lando yesterday, we bumped into each other. I convinced her to take some shots, which I don't remember why actually and we took them. At this point, Lando was still with us but when I pulled her to the dance floor, he was gone. She keep saying she wants to dance for Anna. She didn't tell me who that was, but it didn't matter. After just a few minutes, she looked a bit wonky. I grabbed her arm too steady her but Mila stumbled and fell against me. With her hands on my chest, she tried to hold herself up. The heat of her palms made me feel lighter, even if it should have been the opposite. She yelled at me over the loud music and asked if I didn't know a bit of a quieter place because she was staring to feel dizzy and she needed some water. I still admire how responsible she is when drunk.

So I pulled her to the VIP part. She stumbled over to a small chouch in the back and I went to get her water. When I came back, she was lying across the whole of the sofa. Still drunk me, set down the water on the small table in front of her, lifted up her feet and sat down. This way, I was sitting at the end of the couch with her legs over me. It wasn't to bad, especially given our state but Mila sat up and grabbed her water. With her legs now pulled up, she was sitting a lot closer now. So close that I can see the water she is chugging running down the side of her mouth and down to her chest. With each of her swallows, my eyes dip down further and only stop at where her dress was slowly riding up her thighs. God her body was something I wasn't supposed to look at this much but I was drunk and couldn't look away anymore.

"Toto?"

My eyes snapped back up and I felt caught.

"You shouldn't be looking at me like this"

My heart stops. Drunk Mila is a lot more straight-forward and while I love it, Im scared. She is right, very much so actually and I felt guilty.

"Im sorry"

"Don't be, I like it when you look at me"

Mila told me she liked it and my body betrayed me.
I felt as if a bubble was surrounding us and all I could hear and see was her. The way she looked at me when she said it and the way her body was moving closer.

"You know, I never got much attention as a child. My parents were busy with my sister and when I did get attention, it was always for bad things"

My brain connected the dots.

Parental issues, there they were, and a confession but she works for me now and when she said she couldn't remember, I decided to forget. It was the only smart thing to do.

If I can't have her, Lewis can't either.
Childish or not, I don't care.

(Sorry for the short chapter. Next one comes soon tho)