Darkness offspring

Snaketastrophy

Thee NGTV logo appears.

Dan Vaapit: Today's news, tomorrow's history, I'm Dan Vaapit, and this is Ninjago City News. Chaos. Fireballs! SERPENTS! Our city is under attack... again. We're going live to our number one reporter, Fred Finely, to bring you this breaking story. Fred?

Fred Finely: Fred Finely here, five-time award winning reporter in downtown Ninjago City to report an inclement weather pattern: Fireballs falling from the sky. And these aren't ordinary fireballs. These flaming spheres transform into fire snakes.

Dan Vaapit: Did you say fireballs that turn into fire snakes?

Fred Finely: I did, Dan. And as I'm sure you can hear the terrified, shrieking screams of the citizens of Ninjago behind me, the burning question on everyone's mind is: where are the ninja? Not a single one of our sworn protectors has shown their face in this dire time. Why have the "heroes" of Ninjago chosen to abandon us in our hour of need? Back to you, Dan.

Dan Vaapit: A topical report, Fred, and somewhat concerning. We'll be sure to check back on the destruction of our city, but first, something less important. Our ever-reliable Gayle Gossip is reporting from this year's puppy-petting competition at Fur Mart. Gayle?

Gayle Gossip: Why do they always give the breaking news reports to that blowhard Fred? I'm twice the reporter he is. Just because he bleached his teeth, they think—

Vinny: Uh, Gayle—

Gayle Gossip: Don't defend him, Vinny. He's a conniving weasel, not a reporter.

Vinny: Gayle—

Gayle Gossip: Can I tell you another thing?

Vinny: Gayle, you're live!

Gayle Gossip: What's more fun than puppies? Petting puppies. This is Gayle Gossip here at one of Ninjago City's most charming annual events, Fur Mart's annual puppy petting competition!

A Elemental Cobra shoots Fire at the Fur Mart. The people and the puppies escape, except one puppy, barking at the snake.

Gayle Gossip: Holy smoke, tell me you got that!

Vinny: I got it, I got it!

Gayle Gossip: There's been an unexpected interruption. The Fur Mart just had been attacked by what appear to be flaming snakes.

Vinny: Gayle, we need to go!

Gayle Gossip: Yes, we do, after those snakes! That's where the real story is.

Dan Vaapit: We, uh, seem to be having some technical difficulties. Let's take this opportunity for a commercial break. We'll be back after these messages.

Smith Daryll: Are you tired of evacuating Ninjago City on foot? Would you rather evacuate in style? Behind the wheel of your very pre-owned car, that's Daryll's Used Car Lot! We've got the most affordable vehicles in town, and these deals are hot, hot, caliente, hot! Come on down to Smith Daryll's right now!

An Elemental Cobra breaks the gray car, then another cobra appears.

Smith Daryll: Leave right now! Immediately! These deals won't last forever!

Commercial Song: Smith Daryll's Used Cars!

Sunblock Man: Don't you think we should probably go inside? The fiery glow from these fireballs is really going to burn our skin.

Sunblock Woman: Not my skin. (Chuckles) I came prepared with my Fireblock SPF-3000 !

Sunblock Man: Wow, does it really work?

Sunblock Woman: Well, of course it does! Heh, heh!

Commercial: Fireblock SPF-3000 does not block fire, Fireblock has been known to cause rashes, irritation, dizziness, hair loss, and slurred speech, use it with caution.