Bullet Wound

Chapter 5: Falling

He gulped, & forced his legs to move in the direction of the door. His eyes glued onto the floor, avoiding eye contact with the front desk. The elevator doors opened as a family passed by him, the children running out cheerfully. For a minute Evan completely forgot all about his assignment, he felt a warm feeling in his chest.
Look at them, not a care in the world.
His eyes locked onto the children as they played in the hotel lobby, their smiles filled with an irreplaceable childlike wonder. The elevator doors closed shut, Evan's smile faded & his body tensed back up again.
The door opened up to the highest floor, he stepped out pulling the suitcase behind him. Every passing second it became harder & harder to compose himself.
Evan desperately roamed through the halls, until finally finding the stairwell. He ran up the stairs which turned out to be a lot higher than expected, by the time he reached the top he was out of breath. He pushed open the door, immediately getting hit but a strong gust of wind. The wind brushed through his hair, as he walked to the edge.
He crouched down, ignoring the possibility of falling. He had never been this high up before, everything looked so small & irrelevant. It sort of gave him a second to breathe as he took in the scenery. All the street lights were just small specks of light, as the darkening sky fell over the city. His eyes drifted down to the suitcase next him, all sense of peace he had gotten was stolen.
I shouldn't do this, he repeated in his mind over & over again as he opened the suitcase. But his hands never once stopped moving, until he had propped the rifle on the bipod. It was fully loaded, & ready to fire.
The apartment complex in perfect view, he looked through the telescopic sight. There were bright lights coming from the top, with a large group of people on the balcony. Evan searched through the crowd until finally spotting Mr. Rodriguez.
No, I can't do this. It went against every fiber of his being, but no matter how much he wanted to turn & walk away his body wouldn't move.
He cursed under his breath, his heart pounding out of his chest. If he waited a second longer, he felt he was going to throw up. A bitter & nasty taste stained his mouth as a lump formed in his throat.
He took a sharp breath, as he aimed for his head. There was a jumbling movement of people, and a high chance of him shooting the wrong person.
Evan clenched the firearm, his finger just barely above the trigger. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.
He pulled the trigger, screams of horror so loud even he could hear echoed. He slowly moved away from the rifle, & covered his mouth.
I just killed a man, he was internally screaming. He looked at his own hands, he had never been so disgusted by himself. He wanted to crawl out of his own skin; turn into a completely new person. Evan quickly packed up his things & raced down to the lobby, trying his best not to vomit. He hopped into the car, covering his face with his hands as if trying to hide from the reality he created.
I should have stopped, why didn't I stop?! He screamed at himself over & over again, as if somehow in some way that would undo his actions.
The driver had begun talking to him, putting aside his earlier remark. Evan ignored him, it was impossible to hear anything beside his own thoughts. The guilt was eating at his insides, as he shifted around uncontrollably. He had to force himself to breathe, and even then it was a shaky & uneasy breath.
He attempted to compose himself, sitting up right & trying to distract himself. He took a deep breath, laying back in his seat.
Everything was fine just a few hours ago, why did I have to go and screw it up.
He stared through the car window, remembering the view from the top of the hotel. A vivid image in his mind; it felt as if he was looking from atop the building again. Only this time he was falling, & everything was quickly spinning out of control.
Even if I could go back in time, would I still pull the trigger?
Evan threw his head back in frustration, just wishing there was another option. Playing with his fingers; over the guilt, over the anger, over everything he just felt defeated.

__________

The car finally came to a stop after what felt like an eternity, the all too familiar building in view. The driver opened the door for him; Evan banged on the door.
" Evan!" he shouted, not caring who heard him. A slight noise of surprise came from the other side as the door creaked open.
" How did it go? You usually don't go on missions," she asked, genuine curiosity in her voice.
Evan turned around & smiled, " Great!" he said happily.
She nodded before sitting back on a chair; Evan rushed down the stairs. He passed Red who was waiting at the bottom of the stairway. She was bombarding him with questions, all of which went through one ear & out the other.
He sped up hoping she would get the hint, she didn't. Evan opened the door to the workshop praying to get a second to breathe, instead he was greeted with Kristen who had her arms crossed.
If looks could kill Evan would have dropped dead right then in there, " Did you do what was asked?"
No words could escape from his mouth in that moment, he just nodded & tried not to scream.
" It was crowded, but I got him," he said nervously after seeing that Kristen didn't quite believe him.
She smiled, looking partially impressed. " That's no easy task for a first timer like you," she praised, cocking her head slightly.
" It's just pulling a trigger, right?" he said through gritted teeth. His words were so sharp it could cut through steel.
She looked down to the ground, " I helped you, I don't do that for everyone."
Evan laughed softly, " I suppose I should be at your feet in gratitude."
Red choked back a laugh, Kristen just shook her head. " Meet me in my office at 10," she said coldly.
Kristen slammed the door on her way out, Red bursted out laughing. " She's insane!"
Evan didn't respond and just stood there, unsure how to feel. Everything that had built up inside of him was spewing out, all self restraint gone.
" Come on! get over it!" she exclaimed, after a few seconds of silence playfully jabbing at him.
" I can't just 'get over it' I killed a man!" he shouted, more at himself than her.
" So what? I do it all the time!" she replied, visibly annoyed.
" I'm not you, I'm not good at this type of stuff. This is my place, not out there!" he explained, all he got in response was an unimpressed look.
" I need a drink," she stated as she walked out of the room.
Evan took a deep breath, finally getting a second to himself. Everything was starting to give him a headache, not like he already didn't feel sick.
Just make it to tomorrow. Tomorrows, the thought that tomorrow would be better was what kept the flame burning.
He stepped outside the workshop, taking a good long look at the main room. It wasn't too late, at least he thought. Yet there were drinks spilled everywhere on the floor, trash, and who knows what.
He sighed, going up to the bar. " I knew it was about time before you caved to alcohol!" Red laughed, Evan smiled but shook his head.
" Do you mind giving me a rag? I want to clean up a little," he asked the bartender, " Really cleaning?"
Evan ignored her comment and thanked the bartender, a few others joined in to the teasing. He paid no mind & grabbed the rag, and began to clean up. Evan was in no way a neat freak, but he didn't like messes.

_______

He handed the bartender back the rag, going behind the bar to wash his hands. Red was only a bit tipsy, she had been drinking for about an hour and half. It had taken longer than Evan had planned due to many taking advantage of his gesture; he dried his hands looking up at the clock.
11: 32? Shit. He was about to walk over to Kristen's office, but heard his name before he got the chance to.
" Hey! Evan, right?" she asked, her face was familiar but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
He just smiled, hoping to keep this interaction brief, " Yeah."
She smiled back, and suddenly it hit him. She was the woman at the door, a place holder for Anthony.
" I just wanted to ask if I could buy you a drink?" she asked, he started to get nervous.
" I-I don't really drink, but thanks for the offer!" he replied, she looked a bit disappointed.
" It's fine, sorry to keep you." she apologized; he smiled and squeezed past her.
He went to knock on the door, but to his surprise it was already open. When he walked inside, he was greeted by two people. But most importantly a smile, Kristen seemed overly happy, a feeling began stirring in his stomach. The man was tall and looked a lot older than her, 10 years best. He had bland features and neatly combed brown hair, he was extremely overdressed.
" Evan! This is John, you know who I told you about. A long time friend of my parents, and also the head of another organization" she explained, he offered his hand Evan shook it awkwardly.
'Who I told you about' What the hell is she talking about? He closed the door behind him, & waited for someone to say something.
" I didn't expect your cooperation so easily," he laughed, Evan shot a confused look at both of them.
" Sorry he has a horrible memory!" she joked, "Memory of what?"
She held up a paper, it was a contract. At the bottom of the page was Evan's signature. All air was sucked out of his lungs, he felt as if someone punched him through the stomach.
She forged my signature.
Kristen had a deathly look in her eyes, that said more than words ever could. However Evan couldn't even find the words to spit out of his throat, his mouth had run dry.
" He's been really busy, why don't you remind him?" she asked, his eyes narrowed but nodded.
" We pay you a large sum of money and in return, you work together with one of my members to complete a job," he said, " Kristen tells me you're one the best she has."
Evan wanted to scream, but Kristen held out that contact. Her glare never once faltered; he clenched his jaw.
She knows I can't do this, what the fuck is she thinking?!
'Agree or you're dead' she mouthed, her tongue flickering like the poisonous snake she was.
So many emotions ran through his veins, Kristen had betrayed him, not once, but twice. Even if he didn't have a gun to his head, he knew exactly who was pulling the trigger.
He clenched his fists as he forced a smile, " So what's the job?" Evan's teeth hurt from how hard he was clenching his jaw.
A satfisted smile twisted onto her lips, " We'll tell you tomorrow, it's late."
John nodded in agreement, before leaving he wished both of them good night.
His footsteps drowned out, " You're fucking insane!" He screamed, his face distorted with fury and pain.
" Calm down," she said, her smile never once leaving her face. Evan's head was pounding with pure anger.
" Calm down?! You've basically signed my life away!" he yelled, her eyes narrowed.
" No, I did you a favor. You have skills you can put to use out there, you did a fine job today."
" You and I both know that was dumb luck!" he yelled, his voice starting to hurt as a lump formed in his throat.
" Evan, I am purely looking out for you!" she finally yelled, her chest rising in anger.
" No you aren't, you're only looking out for yourself."