Bullet Wound

Chapter 26: The Games We Play

Evan fought a smile remembering the warmth of William's hand, it his heart beat all the faster. He thought about the words he choked down every time he was with him, the way all he wanted to do was spend his evenings with William. Like a song stuck in your head but you could never remember the name.
If William was right, and life really was a gamble. Then Evan had been playing wrong his whole life, it was too late to learn, but not too late to try. He assumed William was right, he seemed to be right about a lot of things.
William had always seemed to be the kind of person who says things aloud, without care. Like his words carried no weight, even if they made the strongest impact. Evan used to hate how a total stranger knew how to live his life better than him, but William wasn't a stranger. At least not anymore.
William cared, and maybe he wouldn't admit it but he did. "Time's up, make your pick," Red snapped, shoving the barrel of her gun further into the side of his skull.
"Well it's not exactly an ideal question to answer, is it?" William said sharply, almost taking a step closer. "Careful there, wouldn't want to end this game too early."
Evan looked at William, his eyes softing. He tried to keep his breathing steady but failed, only time was up and it was his turn. His move to make, and only his. There was so much to lose, his life, but he wasn't thinking about his life at that moment. His only thought? William.
He took in everybit of him, to his neatly tucked black hair to the wound on his calf. Evan was left breathless, as his heart pumped out a tune. He should've been scared, this time he wasn't just knocking at death's door. Evan had broken into death's house. But he wasn't scared, Evan could only replay William's words in his mind.
"You do something, something that matters."
Tears formed in Evan's eyes, but didn't dare fall. His heart burned, burned with departure, with love. He knew this decision would forever change his world, for better or worse. But sometimes, what you had to lose was greater than what you could've gained. Evan finally understood, there was never no loss in gambling, you had to lose before you won. If you were too scared to play, then nothing ever changed.
Only Evan needed change, things couldn't remain the same forever. But Evan wanted the change to be good, even if it meant he lost himself. Evan had something greater to lose now, and he couldn't just watch as someone shot a bullet through his skull.
He swallowed hard, this was it. This was his chance to do something, it was all or nothing. The stakes were high, and so was the cost.
"I love you," he said loudly, his voice breaking. However he was proud, not ashamed of his own feelings. Evan didn't care about any god that might be listening, it didn't matter. Not in his world anyway.
Silence, mortifying silence. Then two shots rang out.A scream ripped of pure agony ripped out of his throat, as excruciating pain shot through his body. It came in waves, each one more painful than the last. His vision was blurry, unsteady as he screamed so loud his throat hurt. It was pain like he had never felt before, as if someone was ripping his apart limb by limb.
Death was hovering over him as he heard shouts, maybe screams that were coming out of his own throat. He didn't know any more, it felt like he was spinning. Only there were spikes cutting into his flesh with every twirl. Evan felt empty sockets staring into him like a hungry beast. Death's eyes. His vision stilled, like a car window after rain fall. Tears caught in his vision, as each one rolled down his cheeks.
He felt the cold floor meet with his own face, the pain flowing through his body as he collapsed. It only fueled his suffering, like adding wood onto a fire. His body was the wood, as it was engulfed in flames of agony. Burned to a crisp, slowly and painfully. He heard as someone dropped on the floor next to him, yelling things that did not reach him. It was all noise, not sound. Static.
Someone pulled Evan into their arms, tightly holding onto him. The embrace somehow eased his pain, not much, barely. He sobbed into the man's chest, he could feel his own tears rubbing onto his face as well as the fabric. Cold wet tears that dropped as fast as his heart beat. They didn't stop, only continued to fall. Evan's pain was unbearable, scorching him alive. There were two bullets ingrained in his neck, not his head. Rich blood streamed down his neck, draining him.
William's hold on him tightened, his mouth moving, muttering things Evan could not hear. In the corner of his eyes he saw Red, standing in the doorframe. Her green eyes glistened with tears, yet she remained in place. She shook her head, it was obvious what she wanted Evan to say. She wouldn't have hesitated to shoot William, not for a second. Evan knew she had resment built up, dangerous resment. Her anger was like bullets, and it was unfortunate she had killer aim.
Evan felt someone cup his face with gentle hands, he stared into familiar territory. It provided him comfort, William's brown eyes. He tried his best to ignore the paths of water streaming down his face, and focused solely on the view he had become so accustomed to. The view that sent his heart into a spin, the view that he fell in love with.
"I-I did it..." Evan managed to say his words quietly and weak. He wanted William to know that he listened, that now he understood.
"Do what?! Get yourself fucking killed?!" William shouted, his voice breaking horribly. He held Evan tighter, like he was the last thing on earth. The pain in his voice was clear to all, he was going through a different type of pain than Evan. But in the end it was still pain.
"I did something that mattered..." he said, his tone quiet yet sweet. Another wave of pain shot through his body, he flinched as more tears formed. It was torture.
"You fucking idiot..." he whispered, "You idiot!" he shouted gripping onto Evan even harder. Evan knew he never intended to end up in this situation, no one did.
However he found himself smiling, even if he ached in agony. For once in his life he had prevented something, taken the action into his own hands. Let it be that he had no choice, and maybe there was no right answer. Even then, Evan had to admit he was glad it was him on the floor. He couldn't let himself watch as another person he relied on was killed. If his death meant William walked out of that building alive, he welcomed death with open arms. Evan always feared death, but that didn't matter now. Fear had controlled too much of his life; and some might call his choice reckless; he knew he picked right. If there even was a right.
"Why did you have to go and do this to yourself?..." William asked, digging his nails into Evan's leg. "I wanted you to live..." he replied truthfully, he didn't have the strength to lie.
He half closed his eyes, he was starting to get dizzy. Evan was lucky he could even make out words when he felt someone had driven a truck through his body, running him over and over again with no plans to stop.
"God, I love you so much," he whispered in Evan's ear. Quiet yet sweet, like a lovely melody.
He stroked away Evan's tears with his thumb; his eyes shined with truth and sincerity. William's words engraved with passion; Evan reclined his head on William's chest. He could hear as his heart pumped out a new symphony.
Evan let himself go weak, his strength was already gone. However even then there was a small, barely perceptible, smile on his lips. He couldn't help smiling as he looked up at the man who held him tight, the man that held his heart in his hands. Evan wasn't ashamed to say it, he loved William, and he loved him with every inch of his body.
Evan was never confident in his own judgment, and for good reason. All his life he seemed to make mistakes, always had regrets. Constantly picking the wrong person, and facing the heartbreak alone. Evan seemed to subconsciously always bet on a losing horse; Hoping a miracle would strike him. Only he knew that wasn't how the world worked, people don't change. No matter how much you want them to.
However as he stared longingly into chestnut brown eyes, he knew he would leave this life with one less regret. One good thing, one person by his side. It didn't seem like much, but to Evan it was his whole world. The swirls of brown in his eyes made him picture the life they could've had, the moments they could have shared. If only he hadn't waited so long, but it wasn't too late. It was last minute, but not past the due date.
Even if he infuriated the other players, Evan made a move that counted as a win. Criticism might have followed, only a win was decided by rules. However in the gamble of life, there were no rules. You had to build them, they were called morals. But rules had to be broken sometimes, everyone knew that. And some didn't care for rules, life was a gamble they played to win and nothing more.
Evan was glad he got something out of the journey he had walked for 21 years, the only prize that held any worth to him. William. If the constraint was losing his own life, then death was nothing. What fueled him was greater than determination, it was a burning desire.
He felt his body grow in weight, it became harder to breathe as his life began slipping through the cracks of his fingertips. Insufferable pain throbbing through his limbs.
"At least I get to die in your arms," Evan said whole heartedly, and truthfully, he wouldn't have had it any other way.
William tucked a strand of golden hair behind Evan's ear. His face soaked with tears; he planted a soft kiss on Evan's forehead.
"I'd prefer it if you didn't have to die at all," he said delicately. Soft painless tears rolled down Evan's face as he said his last goodbyes.
"I'm so happy I got to meet you in this life," Evan confessed, pouring his last bit of strength into those words. William held his chin, his eyes full of undying love.
"I hope I find you again someday," he whispered into Evan's ear. His voice so delicate Evan almost didn't notice how badly it was breaking.
William moved his face closer to Evan's, their hot breaths mixing together. Until William crashed his lips onto Evan's, it was a thrill that sent Evan over the moon. It was so passionate, yet gentle. It left him feeling complete, whole. Like a finally completed puzzle. He cracked one last smile before giving into his body. He felt himself go limp. Motionless.
This was the end to his nightmare, it wasn't how he imagined it however it was a closure. His world's finale, one he could accept. These were his final moments, but most importantly his life. William was the goal, and he would gladly go up in flames to save William's own skin. Hell, he would've grabbed the lighter himself.
Evan's mind went blank as he took his last breath.
Every game ends eventually, he thought. It would be the last thought that ever entered his mind. Death held out his hand, as if offering something. They had a smile on their face, as if reassuring Evan he would be guided properly.
One last noise rang through his ears as he took death's hand. A single gunshot.

Check out the kind of sequel 'Stuck With You'