Bullet Wound

Chapter 19: Do What Words Cant't Say

Evan put his hand over William's, he wanted to hug him but he felt William would just shove him off. This was his alternative; Tears pricked at the corners of William's eyes but none ever fell.
"What happened?" he asked softly, his voice smooth like honey. William smiled as if remembering a fond memory, "Alice,"
He gave William an interested look, urging him to say more without ever saying a word himself. "Alice was stunning, sweet, everything. She was everything."
William's voice was gentle but still had an edge, like a butter knife. Seems safe but still a knife; William was alert even then. "We met working at my parents' company, she was the most interesting person I'd ever met."
Was?... Evan squeezed William's hand tighter preparing for the worst. "Did she die?" he asked, suddenly William's expression shifted. As if it was a light switch, his small smile melted into a scowl. Tears vanished from his eyes, instead they narrowed.
"I hope she did," William said bitterly, there was hatred in his voice but it was overturned by pain. A scar, not a physical one, but a mark that was still hurting.
Evan interlocked his own hand with William's, taking a deep breath. He's never been good with words, he always said the wrong thing, or he didn't say anything at all in some cases that was worse. It didn't matter how or what he said, it always felt like his mere presence was bad for the entire world. Instead he learned to rely on body language. People were like books, easy to read if you tried. And one thing he noticed was that actions seemed to speak louder than words, as he clutched William's hand, he hoped he believed the same.
" We joined John's organization two years back," he said lazily, "I was searching for her one day and I caught her kissing another man, it hurt. A lot." He said as if he were reliving that day all over again.
Evan felt for William, truely. He could see how he tried to cover up just how deep that knife went. It didn't change a thing, it didn't change how they lied, it didn't change just how much it hurt. Nobody knew betrayal better than Evan.
" I told her it was over, and suddenly she was yelling at me," William said harshly as he dug his nails into Evan's hand. He seemed unaware of the fact he was even doing anything, blinded by hatred.
" Then before I knew it, she had a gun. I still remember that crazed expression she had," William said coldly, " Like a mad woman," he spat.
Evan's jaw hung open, he almost let go of William's hand but didn't. Didn't because William was also clutching Evan's hand, and he wasn't planning on letting go. " Then she shot at me."
Evan took a sharp breath, the story he was being told felt so unreal. " She missed," William added, he let out a shaky breath.
" Thank god she missed," Evan said in an unsteady voice, but William didn't look relieved nor thankful. " I wish she hadn't."
Evan rested his head on William's shoulder, he wanted William to know he understood. He wanted to tell him about all the times he thought about going back to that rooftop, and finally being done with his life. But he didn't, only because there was a feeling running through his body. He knew if he opened his mouth in that second those words would spill out, I'm glad she missed, I'm glad I got to meet you.
Those words William would never hear, Evan didn't have the guts to ever say them. " I'm sorry," he finally whispered. William shook his head, " I'm not mad at you, you've done nothing wrong."
"I'm mad at Willow," he said through gritted teeth, rage spiked up in William's face. Evan stroked his hand with his thumb in an attempt to try and calm him down. As much as he hated what Willow did, it wasn't worth the trouble.
Surprisingly he did calm down, his shoulders sagged and his face seemed to rest. "Thank you Ev," William smiled, a real genuine smile. No lies, no walls.
A feeling stirred up in the insides of Evan's stomach, only it wasn't a bad feeling. The closest thing Evan could describe it as was butterflies, they fluttered around in his stomach. He felt warm, and also noticed how the speed of his heartbeat significantly increased. He locked eyes with William, once again he fell into a trace of admiration. The usual stillness of his eyes were gone, replaced with a warm, lively chestnut color. Whenever he stared into William's eyes he seemed to get lost, his mind emptied with only one thought in his brain. Fascinating.
He felt like an idiot as he grinned widely, embarrassment flooding his body. And yet he did not want to look away, until he forced  himself to. He tried to play it off, but he could see William's face twisted into a stifled laugh.
"Don't worry about it Will," he said quietly, "Will?" he repeated with distaste, as if the name was some foul tasting food.
" Hey, You gave me a nickname, it's only fair," Evan said smugly, he liked William's playful side, one that didn't come out often. He was going to make the most of this moment.
" No one has ever called me that in my life," he scoffed, " Well first time for everything right?" Evan joked, his eyes drifted toward the scene over the railing.
The sunrise radiated an orange glow, the sunlight bouncing off the building as it slowly rose. The sky melting in with the dark hues of orange and blue, it was as if someone took a paint brush smudging both colors together. Only it looked beautiful, stunning even. The air smelled so crisp, everything seemed a hundred times brighter. The view was something Evan had only ever read about.
Those books were always fiction, but this, this was real. The beauty he only ever imagined was piecing itself together before his very eyes. No matter how many artists tried to paint this moment, he knew it would never do the sunrise justice. It was single handedly the most beautiful thing Evan had ever seen, the way the sun shone over the city, everything in place. It was perfect, truly perfect.
" Look, It's beautiful isn't it?" he asked, mesmerized by the array of colors.
He set his hands onto the railing, leaning forward. There was not an ounce of fear in his body as the wind blew through his hair, but he didn't feel cold. He felt like a big blanket of warmth was embracing him, and the only thing he could do in return was admire. He would've stayed in this moment for all eternity, for once in his life he felt joy, only joy. He felt like the last piece to a puzzle and the satisfaction of completing it ran through his veins. To Evan he was on top of the world, his world.
" Yeah, it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he said, his voice laced with desire, like there was nothing that would ever come close to this moment. Like the words he was saying shot up directly out of his heart, the heavy weight his words seemed to carry. The sincerity unlike any Evan's ever heard.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw William wasn't looking at the sunrise.