Bullet Wound

Chapter 11: Ticking Clock

Evan slowly closed the door behind him, it was a struggle since his hands had begun shaking. It was a mixture of fury and fright.
He was boiling with anger at Kristen, all that effort he had put into pushing her, and her actions to the back of his mind was springing out of place. He knew exactly where he would be if she didn't sign that contract in his name, back to his old miserable life. Where nothing ever happened, where sometimes it drove him insane because he felt like he was living a loop. An inescapable loop, one in which no matter what he did it would never change the outcome. Where his actions meant nothing in the end, being completely powerless.
The life he once wished he could change, he now wanted nothing more than to go back. There was that wishing for a time machine again. But a dreaded conclusion hit him in the face as hard as it did the first time.
If I had a thousand chances to change what I did, I would still end up right here.
He leaned his back against the door and slid down to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. He squeezed himself tight, it was probably the only hug he had gotten in years. Going back in time wouldn't change that, nothing would change that.
He thought about the amount of times he had control of his life, the final number could be counted on a single hand. He pressed his head to his knees, hugging himself harder. In an attempt to think about good things he thought about that day, the day on top of the hotel. The feeling of looking down on everything, the beautiful city with the setting sun. A scene he only ever thought he would see in movies.
Maybe there was something I could change, he thought and closed his eyes as he pictured himself that day. Looking down from the rooftop at what lay at the bottom, his dead body. With a crowd around the splatter, his body was messy, the type of thing he was paid to clean up because no one else wanted to. Flashing lights, and paramedics all surrounding him. He refused to open his eyes, in some sick way it felt like a dream.
A small smile crept onto his lips, At least then I would die on my own terms.
In his mind he traveled down to get a closer look at his body, the crowd around him was full of open jaws and gasps and more people poured in. Seeing himself so disfigured was a bit of a scare but he knew about the huge weight that had been lifted off his shoulders. He started into the crowd ready to open his eyes again before he saw a shimmer of vibrant red hair.
It was Red, tears streamed down her rosy cheeks. Her fists balled up at her sides, she looked like she wanted to punch his dead body just to get some kind of movement. Some kind of confirmation that indeed he was not dead, he'd never seen a person so filled with anger and sadness at the same time.
It made his heart heavy with remorse and guilt, his smile faded into a frown. He tried to comfort her but he had no body, all he could do was watch as his best friend broke down in front of him. Even if this was purely a thought up scenario in his mind, it felt so real. As if he was there, but not really there. And saw as each tear drop rolled down her cheeks, her mascara had begun to run, she looked so broken.
He looked back at his body which was now being hauled away, and was stabbed in the chest by a sharp pain. The image of the one person he loved more than anything in the world, the person who didn't shed a single tear when she lost her father, breaking down at his death.
She cared, she would care. The words echoed in his head, he's never thought about how it might affect her. And he wished he had sooner, it made him think.
I don't want to hurt her, not ever, not even in this fictional world. He opened his eyes, new eyes. Sucide was a thought that was always there in the corner of his mind, waiting until he finally gave in. And there were times it pained him to admit he had thought about it, but for once that thought was gone.
He picked himself up, that realization didn't change much, he was still powerless. And that fear and anguish still lay in the fiber of his being, but it was a sudden reminder there was at least one person on this earth who cared about him. For now that was enough, that was enough for him to at least try to function again.

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" Hello!" he greeted over the sound of machinery, he turned it off and looked up.
He took a breath in relief as he saw a familiar redhead, with her arms crossed taking a seat. She was still practically fuming, but seemed a little more cooled off.
" Honestly, who does he think he is?"  she said angrily, throwing her hands up in frustration. Evan really didn't want to hear one of her rants, but he saw she really needed to let out pent up aggression.
" He's super egotistical," he added. Red nodded vigorously, clearly satisfied that someone was agreeing with her.
" I wish I could just shoot him through the head," she said dreamily, closing her eyes as if picturing the scene in her head.
" Don't do that," he said. He was both freaked out and annoyed by this behavior.
" You're no fun," she said disappointedly, then looked over at the counter.
"What's this?" she asked, picking up the small device, he gently took it out of her hands. " It's a tracking device, I think Kristen brought it in."
He hadn't even noticed it until now; he examined his own creation with a small ray of pride.
" Oh okay, also we have to go," she said casually, Evan perked up. " When?" he asked, frantically pulling off his goggles.
" Right now," she said before grinning and exiting the room, he mumbled a curse under his breath as he stuffed the small device in his pocket.
In hopes the faster he went out the door the less time he had to throw up in fear; forcing one foot to move after the other until he squeezed into the elevator just on time.
William was staring daggers at him but he couldn't have cared less, right now his priority was keeping down the sandwich he had earlier. He played with his hands, trying his best to keep a calm looking exterior. Finally the door opened, he raced out of the tight place.
He felt a bulk drop from his pocket, his snap snapped behind him, Please don't be broken.
He searched the ground, just as panic was about to set in William extended his hand. Inside was a device, Evan let out a sigh of relief. " What's it for?"
He explained briefly what it did, then quickly made his way to join the others. All of them, with the exception of John, had impatient  looks. He realized he might've been talking longer than he thought he did, that did tend to happen. Sometimes he got too carried away and rambled, usually the person would make hints of politely telling him to stop.