The sin of loving you(Bokuaka ff)

Chapter 6: Accidental Blurting

Bokuto had always been someone who embraced his emotions fully. He knew early on that he liked both girls and guys, and it never really bothered him. For him, love was love, and it was the connection with someone that mattered, not their gender. So when he realized his feelings for Akaashi had deepened into something more than friendship, it didn't come as a shock. If anything, it felt right—like a piece of a puzzle clicking into place.

But lately, things had been a mess. Akaashi had been avoiding him, shutting him out, and Bokuto couldn't figure out why. The distance was killing him, and he didn't know how to fix it. He'd always been the type to speak his mind, but every time he tried to reach out to Akaashi, it felt like he was being pushed further away.

After practice, Bokuto sat in the locker room, his head heavy with thoughts. Everyone else had cleared out, except for Konoha, who lingered by the door, watching Bokuto with concern.

"Bokuto," Konoha called out, stepping closer, "you okay?"

Bokuto looked up, his usually bright eyes clouded with frustration. "I don't know, Konoha. Everything's messed up."

Konoha sat down beside him, waiting for Bokuto to continue.

"It's Akaashi," Bokuto said, running a hand through his hair. "I've known for a while that I like guys and girls. It's just... how I am, you know? And with Akaashi, I knew I liked him, but lately, he's been avoiding me, and I don't understand why. I feel like I'm losing him."

Konoha nodded slowly. "You've been different lately, and so has Akaashi. But this isn't just about you liking him, is it?"

Bokuto sighed. "No. We've been sneaking around—meeting up after practice, hanging out in secret. It was fun at first, but now... it's like he's scared of being seen with me. Like he's ashamed."

Konoha frowned. "Do you think he's afraid of how people will react?"

Bokuto looked down at the floor. "Maybe. I don't know. I'm okay with who I am, Konoha. I like guys, I like girls—it doesn't matter to me. But I think... I think Akaashi's struggling with it. And I don't know how to help him."

Konoha was quiet for a moment, processing Bokuto's words. "Bokuto, you being okay with yourself is important, but Akaashi's coming from a different place. He's probably dealing with a lot of internal conflict, especially if he's been taught that liking guys is wrong."

Bokuto's heart ached at the thought. He knew Akaashi had grown up in a strict environment, but he hadn't realized how deeply it affected him. "I just want him to know that it's okay, that we're okay."

Konoha sighed, placing a hand on Bokuto's shoulder. "He needs time, Bokuto. He's trying to figure out how to reconcile what he's feeling with what he's been taught. The best thing you can do is be patient and let him come to terms with it in his own time."

Just then, the door to the locker room creaked open, and both Bokuto and Konoha turned to see Akaashi standing in the doorway. The look on his face was one of hurt and betrayal, and Bokuto's stomach dropped. He hadn't meant for Akaashi to hear all of this.

"Akaashi," Bokuto started, standing up, "I—"

But Akaashi's voice cut through the air, sharp and pained. "How could you, Bokuto? How could you tell him? This was supposed to be between us!"

Bokuto winced, guilt washing over him. "I didn't mean to blurt it out. I was just trying to figure out what to do. I'm so confused, and you've been avoiding me—"

"Because I can't handle this!" Akaashi snapped, his voice trembling with anger. "I can't handle you, or how you make me feel, or what it means. And now you've told Konoha, like it's nothing. Like my feelings mean nothing!"

Konoha stood, trying to interject. "Akaashi, Bokuto was just—"

"Just what?" Akaashi interrupted, his eyes flashing with hurt. "Just talking about something he doesn't understand? This isn't just about liking someone. It's about everything I've ever known being turned upside down. It's wrong, Bokuto. Liking you... it feels weird. Nothing we have done together has been right. It's sinful."

Bokuto's heart broke at Akaashi's words, but he kept his voice steady. "It's not a sin, Akaashi. It's just how we feel. And that's not wrong."

Akaashi shook his head, his voice trembling. "You don't understand. You've always been so sure of yourself, so comfortable with who you are. But I'm not. I'm not okay with this, and I'm not okay with myself."

Bokuto took a step closer, his voice soft but firm. "You don't have to be afraid, Akaashi. You don't have to hide who you are or how you feel. I'm here for you, no matter what."

But Akaashi couldn't meet his eyes, tears brimming at the edges. "You don't get it, Bokuto. You can't just fix this. This isn't something you can fix."

With that, Akaashi turned and walked out of the locker room, leaving Bokuto standing there, feeling more helpless than he ever had before.

Konoha watched Akaashi leave, then turned to Bokuto, his expression filled with sympathy. "Bokuto, you need to give him time. This is something he has to work through on his own."

Bokuto nodded, his heart heavy. "I know. But it doesn't make it any easier."

Konoha gave him a reassuring pat on the back. "He'll come around. He just needs to figure out what he's feeling and how to deal with it."

As the door closed behind Akaashi, Bokuto sank back onto the bench, his chest tight with a mix of guilt and heartache. He knew he couldn't force Akaashi to accept his feelings, but the thought of losing him was more than he could bear.