The sin of loving you(Bokuaka ff)

Chapter 9: Courage

The days began to take on a strange rhythm for Akaashi, one marked by the oppressive scrutiny of his parents during the day and the secret visits from Bokuto at night. Every evening, as the house settled into a tense quiet, Akaashi would find himself waiting by the window, listening for the telltale sound of gravel crunching under Bokuto's feet.

It had become their routine. Bokuto would appear, tapping gently on the glass, his face a mix of concern and determination. Akaashi would let him in, and together they would sneak out into the night, careful not to wake anyone. The fear of getting caught was ever-present, but it was outweighed by the relief Akaashi felt in Bokuto's presence.

They walked through the quiet streets, talking in hushed tones about anything and everything. At first, their conversations were light—discussions of volleyball, mutual friends, or random observations about the world around them. But as the nights went on, they began to delve deeper, into Akaashi's fears, Bokuto's frustrations, and the complicated emotions that had brought them together in the first place.

"I hate that you're going through this," Bokuto said one night as they sat on a secluded bench in the park. The moonlight filtered through the trees, casting soft shadows around them. "It's not fair, and it's not right."

Akaashi sighed, leaning back against the bench. "It's just how things are. I don't know if it'll ever get better."

"It will," Bokuto insisted, his voice full of that unshakeable confidence that Akaashi had always admired. "We'll make it better. We'll figure it out together."

Akaashi looked at Bokuto, the sincerity in his eyes almost overwhelming. "You're too good to me," he whispered. "I don't deserve it."

"Don't say that," Bokuto replied, frowning slightly. "You deserve everything good, Akaashi. You deserve to be happy, to feel safe, to love who you love."

The words hung in the air between them, heavy with unspoken meaning. Akaashi felt his heart stutter, the truth of his feelings for Bokuto pressing against the walls he had built up inside himself. He had tried so hard to push those feelings away, to deny them, but every night they spent together made it harder and harder to do so.

One night, after yet another secret outing, they stood by the river, watching the water ripple under the moonlight. Bokuto had his hands in his pockets, a contemplative look on his face. Akaashi had always loved these quiet moments with Bokuto, where the world seemed to fall away, leaving just the two of them and the night.

"Do you ever think about what would happen if we got caught?" Akaashi asked suddenly, his voice barely above a whisper.

Bokuto looked at him, surprised by the question. "Sometimes," he admitted. "But I try not to dwell on it. I'd rather focus on now—on us."

"Us," Akaashi repeated softly, the word feeling strange and wonderful on his tongue.

Bokuto stepped closer, his gaze steady. "Akaashi, I don't want to hide how I feel about you. I care about you more than anything, and I want you to know that."

Akaashi's breath hitched, his heart racing in his chest. The weight of Bokuto's words, the intensity in his eyes—it was all too much, but at the same time, exactly what Akaashi had been yearning for.

"I care about you too," Akaashi finally confessed, his voice trembling with the vulnerability of the admission. "More than I should, more than I'm allowed to."

Bokuto's expression softened, and he reached out, gently cupping Akaashi's face in his hands. "You're allowed to feel whatever you feel, Akaashi. There's no right or wrong when it comes to love."

Akaashi closed his eyes, leaning into Bokuto's touch. He could feel the warmth of Bokuto's hands, the steady rhythm of his breath. And in that moment, everything else seemed to fade away—the fear, the guilt, the judgment. All that mattered was the boy standing in front of him, offering him something he had never dared to hope for.

Before he could second-guess himself, Akaashi leaned forward, closing the distance between them. Their lips met in a gentle, tentative kiss, the kind that spoke of uncertainty and hope all at once. Akaashi's heart pounded in his chest, a mix of exhilaration and fear coursing through him.

Bokuto responded with a soft, reassuring pressure, his hands still cradling Akaashi's face as if he were something precious, something worth holding on to. The kiss was brief but filled with the promise of something more, something real.

When they finally pulled away, Akaashi felt a mixture of emotions—relief, joy, and a lingering trace of fear. But as he looked into Bokuto's eyes, he knew that this was something he couldn't deny any longer.

Bokuto smiled at him, a warm, genuine smile that made Akaashi's heart flutter. "I'm glad you're here with me," he whispered.

Akaashi smiled back, a small, hesitant smile, but a real one nonetheless. "Me too," he replied, his voice soft but steady.

As they stood there, under the night's veil, Akaashi realized that while the road ahead was still uncertain, he didn't have to face it alone. He had Bokuto by his side, and for the first time in a long while, that thought brought him a sense of peace.