Unwritten Shadows of a Clouded Mind

Unsaid Words

There's a certain heaviness that comes with words left unsaid, like a weight pressing down on your chest, making it hard to breathe. 

I've carried that weight for so long now, it's become a part of me, an invisible burden that I've grown accustomed to bearing.

It's strange how the things we never say can haunt us more than the things we do. 

I remember the countless times I almost told you how I felt, the moments when the words hovered on the tip of my tongue, waiting to be spoken. But I never did. I was too afraid of what they might mean, of how they might change everything between us. So I swallowed them down, buried them deep within, hoping they would fade with time.

But they didn't. They only grew heavier, each unspoken word adding another layer to the weight I carry. 

And now, here I am, alone with the memories of what we never were, haunted by the words that never found their way out.

I think back to the times when we were together, the easy conversations, the laughter that came so naturally. It all seemed so effortless, like we were two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together. 

But beneath the surface, there was always an undercurrent of something more, something I could never quite put into words.

Maybe it was the way you looked at me sometimes, like you were seeing right through to the core of who I was. Or maybe it was the way my heart skipped a beat every time you smiled. Whatever it was, it lingered there between us, a silent presence that neither of us acknowledged but both of us felt.

I wonder what would have happened if I had spoken those words aloud, if I had let you see the depth of my feelings. Would it have changed anything? Would it have made a difference? Or would it have shattered the delicate balance we had created, leaving us both in pieces?

These are the questions that keep me up at night, the thoughts that circle endlessly in my mind, never finding resolution. I play out different scenarios, imagining what could have been if only I had been braver, if only I had taken that leap. But it's all just fantasy, a way to pass the time while the reality of your absence settles in.

And now, all I have left are the memories and the weight of forgotten words. 

They are my constant companions, reminding me of the things I never had the courage to say, the feelings I never had the courage to express. 

They are the ghosts of what could have been, haunting the quiet corners of my mind, whispering of a love that was never given the chance to bloom.

Sometimes, I think about letting go, about releasing the hold these memories have on me. But letting go feels like another kind of loss, a final admission that what we had—whatever it was—was never meant to be. So I hold on, even as the weight pulls me down, even as the unspoken words echo in the silence.

Because these memories, these forgotten words, are all I have left of you. And as much as they hurt, they are also a reminder of the depth of what I felt, of the love I carried in my heart, even if it was never returned.

So I carry the weight, knowing that some words are meant to be forgotten, while others will stay with me forever, a silent testament to the love that was never spoken, but always felt.