𝑴𝒚 𝑶𝒃𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝑩𝒐𝒔𝒔

Nine

How embarrassing. I froze. Their eyes were just on me and it was only then when I realized how I was being seen, actually looked at. It was suffocating. I felt like they knew everything about me and saw right through me.

I had eventually disappeared in the nearest empty classroom and cried. I didn't know what else to do and I was found by Julia about ten minutes after that ordeal.

"How about we try again Friday, yes?"

And I was sent home after. At least I didn't get fired or anything, but I was still embarrassed. I got in bed and watched a few movies on Netflix. Further into the third movie I couldn't bare watching.

It was triggering for me.

"Come on J, open the door. I wont hurt you I promise." A bang. "J." A warning. "Open the fucking door Jas!" He broke it down and reached me, holding a knife to my throat, threatening to kill me where I laid.

"Why don't you listen, why don't you just listen when I talk?!"

I covered my ears, sobbing. They're locked. All of the doors and windows. I made sure of it. I didn't miss anything. What if I did?

Thinking of it made me anxious. I swallowed hard and forced myself out of bed. I removed the dresser from the door and went redid it all. Unlocking, locking, unlocking, locking, unlocking and locking again. Just to make sure.

Just to be sure. I went back to my room and locked the door, pushed the dresser in front of it and watched the door like a hawk.

I'm safe, I'm fine.

__

I looked at the box and sighed. Just three minutes, something easy, something simple. Kraft Mac N Cheese. Should be good enough...right?

"Dad Amper won't leave me alone!"

"Stop lying!" Ashton shouts. They stopped in the entrance of the kitchen and I shook my head.

"Boys please behave."

"What are you doing?" Ashton asks.

I showed him the box, feeling a bit confident. "Cooking. I decided enough fast food and more...cooked food."

"Aw, I thought we were getting pizza." Ashton frowns.

"Yeah, I don't want that, I want pizza dad. You can't cook like Bella's mom." Amper follows.

"Yeah, please dad? Can we get pizza."

I felt shattered inside. They don't even want cooked food. They've grow used to the take outs and junk. Maybe doing that so often wasn't a good idea. But...whatever they want.

"Oh...okay."

"Thanks dad!" Amper and Ashton high-five'd each other and sauntered to the living room where they watched a TV show I'm not sure they are supposed to be watching. Regular Show or something it is.

I set the box down and sighed. I took my phone from my pocket and ordered for them. A twenty minutes wait. I gazed at the pot on the stove and stared at the boiling water.

The reason I never cooked or tried, wasn't because I was never good but...

"Honey please, I'm trying my best here. I-I don't know how to cook." She shoved me so hard I nearly fell.

"You never know how to do anything! Why am I always cooking and cleaning and taking care of your kids? Huh!? You think you could just use work as an excuse to stay out late? You're probably having sex with some random whore!"

"I'm not. I have a business to run. I try to have time and you know that. Just-" she punched me. I turned away, feeling more punches on my back and head.

"Okay."

Amper, Ashton and Allen were crying by the stairs. It breaks me every time when they have to witness this. No three year old should.

"Lazy fucker." She grits. I wiped my nose and went to the stove to finish the rice. She smacked me randomly again but I did nothing.

"Lazy!" She screams.

"I'm trying Ash." It was a pathetic whimper.

"You're going to starve them because you'd rather work than take care of them? They're three Asher, they need food!"

I wiped the tears from my eyes and opened the fridge door. I heard a scoff. "Look at this shit, they can't eat this." She dumped it. "Start over, now."

"Dad?"

I looked over to see Allen. "Hey, bud." He seemed hesitant. "What is it?"

"I...I w-want to t-try it."

"Are you sure?" A nod. "You sure you don't want pizza?" He shook his head. I could feel myself get jittery again. "Okay." I tore open the box and poured it in. I was cautious about stirring but I sucked it up.

After it was done I poured the water out. For the instructions. Add milk, butter, the cheese and stir.

Allen tugged my shirt and I gave him my attention. "D-do we have s-s-salt?"

"Yeah, why?"

"To add." He points. I got the salt from the cabinet and set it onto the counter. "Why do we need salt?"

"It's fla-avor."

"Hm, would you like to do the honors?" He nodded in excitement. I lift him onto the counter and he sprinkled a bit into the pot. I handed the spoon to him as he mixed it in.

The doorbell rang and I nearly had a panic attack until I remembered the pizza. Surely that wasn't twenty minutes. I paid for it and set the box onto the coffee table for Ashton and Amper.

"Alright!"

"Thanks dad!"

They tore into the box like animals and celebrated to each other. I joined Allen back into the kitchen and grabbed a spoon.

"Here, have first bite."

He took the spoon from my grasp and did so, not before cooling it down. It was so quiet I could hear the "Ooooo's" from the TV in the living room.

Allen shrugged. "It's n-not ba-ad." I ate after him and he's right. Not too shabby for our first cooked meal in this house. To be frank...it felt good to do so.

I gazed at the living room tv as Allen and I ate Kraft Mac N Cheese for dinner straight from the pot. Amper and Ashton gazed back at us every so often, but I paid it no mind.

I looked at Allen and he's watching the TV. I reached out and touched the top of his head. He looked at me, his eyes studying me. He's probably confused by my actions.

I held out my fist and he formed one of his own, his knuckles meeting mine.

Best dinner ever.

__

Allen is so observant 😭😭🙌🏼