changes

part twenty

Heyy and welcome to the new chapter. We're slowly coming to the end...
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Lizzie's POV
When I wake up the next morning, the bed is empty. I know the bed is always empty in the morning, but after that night, I would have thought she'd stay in longer too. The empty infusion is hanging next to the bed when I get up and get ready in the bathroom. We have another day off today before heading back to America tomorrow for a few concerts.

As I'm getting changed, I hear the door open and y/n comes in.
"Hey" she says cheerfully, which puts me at ease at first.
"Are you okay?" I ask her.
"Yeah, why"
"After last night, do you want to talk about it?"
"I'm fine" she says and disappears into the bathroom. Okay, I didn't expect that. Why is she suddenly so dismissive again?

I follow her into the bathroom.
"Are you pretending nothing happened?"
"Yeah cause nothing happened" she says. I don't know why, but it makes me a little angry. Yesterday she was so open and today she's not?
"Okay wow" I just say and walk out the door. She follows me.

"What do you want to hear? It's all choppy"
"Choppy? That's not a task you had to do"
"Today is a new day and yesterday is forgotten"
"Everything?"
"Yes!"
"Even our kiss?"
"Yes, even the kiss!"
"I can't do this anymore" I say "so you're telling me that you didn't feel anything when we kissed yesterday?"
"It was just another kiss between us, that's what we do" she says and it hits me hard. Apparently the feelings are only one-sided.
"I know you're not lying to me, I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that you didn't feel anything when we kissed yesterday"
She looks me in the eye "For me, it was just a kiss, without feelings" she says dryly.
"Not for me...You've become very important to me and I can't do it like this anymore, it hurts me, I've developed feelings for you, I want to build a life with you"
"I told you from the start that I didn't want a relationship" she says, a little calmer this time.
"I know and that's why I'm leaving, I can't do it like this anymore, it hurts me. I want something that I know I can't have, and I can't go on like this"

I start packing my things.

"Thank you for the lovely time" I say before I walk out the door. I don't know if I'll see her again. On the way to the airport, all my emotions come up and I start to cry. What have I let myself in for?
This farewell hurts more than the separation from Robbie, because y/n was there by my side, I felt comfortable with her.

When I get home and open the door, I can't breathe properly. Everything in this house reminds me of Robbie. The kitchen we used to cook in, the couch I used to sleep on, the TV we bought together. When I go upstairs to the bedroom, I can see that there are still boxes of his.

I take my phone out of my pocket and text him.

Lizzie
Hey, can you maybe pick up
your boxes from the bedroom?

It doesn't take long for him to answer.

Robbie
I could come by tomorrow and pick them up

Lizzie
Great

After I've answered, I realize that I have to see him too. Maybe I'll just meet up with my siblings tomorrow when he comes.

Y/n's POV
After Lizzie left, I sat on the balcony with a cigarette and collected my thoughts. I could still very much remember the kiss yesterday, it made my stomach tingle, I'd never had that before but I didn't know what it meant.

"Hey, how are you?" Freya came over and sat down next to me while she lit her cigarette.
"I think I fucked up" I just say.
"Yeah, that's right, you should never do that again." I think we're talking about different things.
"Yes, that too, but I did something much worse" I say "can I ask you something"
"Sure" she replies.
"Have you ever been in love?"
"Yes" she says and grins.
"How did that feel?"
"I wanted to do everything for this person, I wanted them to be okay, I loved making this person smile, I could let myself go with this person and I knew they would always catch me. I had a tingling sensation in my stomach every time I kissed them"
"Fuck" I just say.
"What's going on?"
"I think I just pushed the person I love away"
"Lizzie?"
I just nod and start to cry.
"Well, she's not completely gone, you can still see her"

"Yes, I think I want to"

...

I couldn't sleep all night because I was so nervous.
When we landed back in America the next day, I stop at the flower store and buy red blossoms, she once told me that she loves these flowers. I write a little note and put it between the flowers. Then I make my way to her house and take a deep breath before ringing the doorbell.
When the door opens, I see a different person than I expected. A person I've punched in the face before. Robbie. What the hell is he doing here? An uneasy feeling rises up inside me.

"Is Lizzie here?" I ask.
"She's still asleep"
"Oh, um, can you give her these?" I hold the flowers out to him.
"I don't think that's a good idea, we'll try again, you know"
"You two?" I ask.
"Yes, so I'd be very happy if you didn't destroy it again this time"
"Got it" I just say and walk away.
"I'll dispose of these for myself" he says as he holds up my flowers.

I've never had such a twinge in my heart, I felt like I couldn't breathe.
But instead of going home, I go to our studio, where I haven't been for a long time. It's always the best place for me to take a deep breath. I can hide in the music. I sit down at the piano and play a few notes as I string together a new melody, and suddenly my brain switches over.

I call the band and David.

"Come to the studio right away" I just say and it doesn't take long for them to arrive.

I sit at the piano as the others listen intently. "I was playing around a bit earlier and I think I've got a new song, I've only got the piano so far, so there should be a bit of pep in there at the end"

I start playing.

(Listen to "I hate the way - Stripped" by Sofia Carson for the full experience, but most importantly, the stripped version!)

"I hate the way you say my name,
I hate your picture-perfect lips on mine,
If I could, I'd cut the breaks,
I hate that I can't help but stay all night,
When you look at me, I'll have to turn my face,
If I look too long, I'll never look away..."

After I finish the song, it's quiet for a moment. Is it good? Does it suck?
"What do you think?" I ask after they still haven't said anything.

"It's incredible!" Luke finally says.
"I never thought I'd hear you say words like that" says Freya.
David liked it too, which is why we get straight to work on brightening things up a bit. I'm glad that the others don't ask any more questions about the song, because I think everyone knows who it's about, but I couldn't talk about it now.

Lizzie's POV
After coming home from my siblings' house, I see that Robbie's car is still on my driveway. What's taking so long to take these boxes?
I walk through the door and see him get up from the couch when he sees me coming.
"Hey" he says.
"Hey" I say a little less friendly.
"I brought you flowers" he says and points to the countertop where there are red blossoms. How does he know that these are my favorite flowers? He's never usually this attentive.
"What's this Robbie?"
"Can we try again? I've stopped drinking"
"I'm very glad, but I can't do it anymore"
"Why? Is there someone else?"
I briefly wonder how he knows that, but then I remember the video.
"That's none of your business"
I go to the flowers and was about to throw them away when a small note flies out of the flowers.

I lied

That's all it said, but I knew immediately who the flowers were really from.

"Red blossoms, really?"
"Yes, blossoms bloom in spring and stand for the promise of a new life and red flowers stand for love and passion, I think that's a great combination" I tell y/n as I sit on the balcony in one of her T-shirts while we smoke a cigarette together.
"I didn't know you knew so much about flowers"
"There's a lot you don't know about me" I say with a laugh as she comes over and kisses me.

"Who bought the flowers?" I ask Robbie.
"Me" he says confidently, how can he be such a liar.
"I want you to leave my house immediately and never come back, otherwise we'll sort it out with the police"

After he left, I tried to call y/n, but she doesn't answer. The flowers must be from her.
Then I look at my watch. No wonder she's not answering, she's got a concert coming up here in the city.
I quickly change my clothes and set off.
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I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Have a nice day!