The Divorce

46

"So, tell me everything about Kyle."

I looked up at Fern as I stirred my coffee and leaned back in my chair.

"Hmm...where do I started?" I asked myself, but then again there wasn't much to share about Kyle, or myself for that matter. We were pretty boring people. 

"Um, well your name is Kyle I guess," I shrugged, "And you work in the army, you're deployed to mainly other states in Australia, a lot of the islands we have, sometimes New Zealand or ally countries, and I guess you can say you are an expert-"

"Do you think my muscles will be an issue?"

"What?" I asked.

Fern lifted up his arms, posing like he was trying to show his biceps through his jacket.

"Is Kyle buff?"

"You'll be fine...I don't think any of my family are going to know what an army persons bicep circumference is."

"They might, the heaviest I have lifted is Gabriel's notes. And they're not that heavy."

"Look," I leaned over the desk, "it's not that important."

"But it is, you're going to your sister's wedding with a fake Kyle, you need to make sure it's completely believable!"

And just like that he was starting to make me nervous, "You know what then, let's NOT go. I'll say you got hit by a car, or better yet, got injured at work and now you're not going. Whatever, it's just a few hundred bucks I'll lose out on."

"Whoa, calm down young one."

I took a sip of my coffee, "Don't tell me to calm down. This was your dumb idea and now you're asking for too much info."

"He's really pissed you off hasn't he."

"YES!"

I kicked the bottom of my desk, but not too loud in case Gabriel comes out of his office. 

"He's a jerk!" I muttered, "but maybe not as a big of a jerk I was to him."

"You were a jerk? How?"

"Well this whole thing with Gabriel, like...I probably shouldn't have done it." 

Fern scoffed, leaning back in his chair and taking a spin around in it. 

"Please, like he wouldn't do the exact same thing if he had a chance, he would probably willingly kiss someone as well," said Kyle. 

"You don't know him."

"Well I sort of can get an idea that he won't come to your sisters wedding that you organised and paid for, like even if he's upset that's a pretty shitty move to be honest."

"No, his works busy-,"

"You're just making excuses for him," Fern commented.

"And you're an expert on relationships are you? You're the one that told me to take a fake Kyle!"

"Yeah that was before I realised that you don't even know that much about him."

"I do!"

"Do you even love him?"

"Of course I love him!" I defended, "What on earth are you saying?"

"Why do you love him, give me your top 5 things"

"What?" This is SO stupid," I whined.

"If it's a stupid question, you should be able to list them off really quickly, go!"