Roundabout Way to You

33. Gay?

Sarth took a deep breath, finally breaking the silence. "How did you figure out that you were gay?"

Ayut's eyebrows raised slightly in surprise, but he quickly composed himself. He knew exactly what was going on both Sarth and Anwit couldn't deny the attraction they felt for each other and were confused about their feelings.

He leaned forward to give Sarth his full attention. "That's a big question. What is going on?" He acted clueless, wanting to sound Sarth out on how he felt about Anwit.

Sarth sighed, staring down at his coffee. "I have always been attracted to women. But lately... things have changed. I can't stop thinking about Anwit, and it is confusing the hell out of me. I don't understand how this happened."

He knew he had to confess to Ayut if he wanted his help. He knew how big of bro-cons Anwit and Ayut were and how protective they were of each other. Getting Ayut's approval was a crucial step for him. 

Ayut nodded slowly, sipping his drink. "It is not uncommon to question your sexuality, especially when you start feeling something for someone of the same gender. But in today's world, it is even harder to trust those feelings. We are constantly bombarded with influences from social media, movies, and everything else. It can be difficult to figure out what's real and what's just... noise."

Sarth looked up, a frown creasing his forehead. "But how did you know? How did you figure out that you were gay?"

Ayut smiled faintly, memories from years ago surfacing in his mind. "It happened when I was in middle school. There was this inter-school basketball game, and I remember seeing a player from the rival team. He was confident, and athletic, and for some reason, I couldn't stop staring at him. I didn't know what it meant at the time, but I knew it was something more than just admiration. That is when I started to realize."

Mihit suddenly leaned forward with a grin. "Which school did you go to, Phi? I was on my school's basketball team back then, and we played a lot of inter-school games. Are you sure it wasn't me you were looking at?"

Ayut wasn't ready to dive into that conversation with Mihit, not here, not now. "I am sure that it was not you." He tried to dismiss Mihit.

Mihit pouted, clearly disappointed but still persistent. "How are you so sure, phi? You just said that he was confident, athletic, and eye-catching and I tick all those columns. It might be me!"

Ayut's smile didn't waver, but he subtly shifted the focus back to Sarth. "Listen, Sarth, what you are feeling is real, and it is okay to be confused. But you need to follow your heart. Don't let fear or doubt stop you from figuring out what you really want."

Sarth ran a hand through his hair, frustration and confusion mingling in his eyes. "But what if it is just a phase? What if I am wrong? I don't want to end up hurting Anwit."

Ayut's expression softened. "It might be a phase, or it might not be. But you won't know unless you explore those feelings. It is better to be honest with yourself now than to regret not giving it a chance later."

There was still a flicker of concern in his heart. He knew how much Anwit cared for Sarth, and the thought of Anwit getting hurt if this was just a phase for Sarth made him uneasy as well.

Mihit, still leaning towards Ayut, chimed in with a nod. "P' Yut is right, Sarth. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith."

Sarth glanced at Mihit, then back at Ayut. The sincerity in Ayut's eyes was comforting, grounding him in a way he hadn't expected. "I am just... scared. I don't want to mess things up."

So many things were at stake in this. If he messed up everything would be gone. I would not only affect his friendship with Anwit but also the one with Ayut. He didn't need to think to know that Ayut would choose Anwit over him in any case.

Ayut reached across the table, placing a reassuring hand on Sarth's arm. "You won't mess things up by being true to yourself. And you are not alone in this. We are here for you, whatever you decide."

Ayut wanted his little brother to get a taste of being loved by someone. Not the brotherly love that he gave, or the parental love they got from their parents. He wanted Anwit to experience being loved as a person.

He was sure that Sarth had the ability to make Anwit waver from his decision of 'never dating' in his life. 

Sarth nodded, feeling a small weight lift off his shoulders. The confusion was still there, but Ayut's words had given him a sense of clarity, a direction. "Thank you, Ai Yut. I think... I think I needed to hear that."

"Now that it is sorted, just give him a call. He has been waiting for it all day," Ayut scooped up some of his blueberry cheesecake.

Sarth nodded, smiling as he pulled out to call Anwit. "The person you are trying to reach is not available."

He frowned and dialed again.

"What happened?" Ayut asked as he finished his cheesecake.

"The call isn't going through. It says that the number is not available," Sarth replied with a hint of frustration.

Ayut laughed. "Then he must have blocked you." He said knowing his brother's typical behavior when he got mad.

"What do I do now?" Sarth asked, looking pitiful.

Ayut giggled, not at all pitying his friend who had caused distress to his baby brother. "Who told you to ghost him through the weekend? Suffer in silence, buddy." 

"Yut, friend, please help me na," Sarth begged.

"Go talk to him face to face." Ayut sipped the last drop of his drink. "He is at my place."

"Okay. Thanks." Sarth got up to leave.

"Stop." Ayut got up with Mihit on his toe.

Sarth looked back in confusion. "What?"

"Don't forget to settle the bill for all this," Ayut pointed at the table with a sly smile.

Sarth made a face but agreed. "Alright." 

Watching Sarth head to the counter, Mihit inched closer to Ayut, "I was about to pay the bill, phi."

"Why would you be the one who pays the bill? It should be him. Didn't we both come down here for him?" Ayut said righteously.

Mihit couldn't help but smile at Ayut's cuteness. "You are right."

"You go ahead. I have a few things to buy," Ayut said as the trio stepped out of the cafe together once the bill was settled. He didn't want to be the third wheel in between Anwit and Sarth.

"Then I will come with you, phi. What if those things are too heavy for you to carry?" Mihit said enthusiastically.

"You don't have to, Hit. I have my car," Ayut denied.

"But P' Sa is already gone, phi and I don't have my car with me. Please take me too na," Mihit stared at him with puppy eyes.

Ayut understood why Sarth had left in a hurry. People in love were not hard to read. "Actually, I don't have anything to buy. I lied because I wanted to give them some space of their own." He confessed to Mihit.

Mihit's eyes lit up. "Really? Does that mean that you are free?"

"I guess," Ayut stuffed his hands in his pocket and shrugged.

"Let's go go-karting then! My friend recently suggested me this awesome go-karting arena." Mihit was practically bouncing on his feet.

Ayut nodded lightly, causing Mihit to yelp in happiness.