Roundabout Way to You

35. Distant

Anwit sat on the couch, staring blankly at the screen. The episode had been playing for almost ten minutes, but he hadn't taken in a single moment of it. His mind was somewhere else. It wasn't the story that failed to capture his attention—it was Sarth.

No matter how hard he tried to focus on the series, his thoughts kept drifting back to the past few days. 

Sarth had been ghosting him, and though Anwit kept telling himself that it didn't matter, it did. He couldn't understand why he felt so bothered. After all, their relationship was fake—nothing more than a business deal, a temporary arrangement that was supposed to help them both. 

He was supposed to help Sarth with a façade, pretending to be his boyfriend, while Sarth was supposed to assist Anwit in getting Ayut and Mihit together. A mutually beneficial setup.

And yet... here he was, feeling strangely hurt by the fact that Sarth had left in the middle of their last conversation and had been ignoring his calls and texts ever since.

Anwit sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He knew it didn't make sense. He and Sarth weren't supposed to have complications between them. 

Their relationship had a clear boundary—a line neither of them was supposed to cross. So why was he feeling this way? Why did it feel like Sarth's silence was getting to him more than it should?

He glanced at his phone lying on the coffee table, still no reply from Sarth. It had been two days since Sarth left without warning, and since then, the silence had stretched between them like an invisible wall. The weird part was, this wasn't even supposed to matter. 

Ayut and Mihit were already hitting it off. They didn't need any push from him or Sarth. The deal that brought him and Sarth together was technically no longer necessary.

Yet here he was, replaying moments in his head, wondering why Sarth's ghosting hurt more than it should. 

He reminded himself of how Sarth used to irritate him with his clumsy and irresponsible behavior. Back then, he would never imagined being emotionally invested in someone like Sarth.

But now, here he was, struggling to shake the feeling of disappointment.

Anwit pushed himself off the couch, trying to distract his mind from spiraling further. He started cleaning the apartment, an attempt to busy himself, but every stroke of the mop seemed to remind him of Sarth.

The sound of the doorbell interrupted his thoughts. He frowned. Ayut had texted him earlier, saying he would be late, so it couldn't be him.

He put down the mop and walked to the door, wondering who it could be. When he swung the door open, his eyes widened for a moment. 

Sarth stood there, wearing a small, hesitant smile, as if he was expecting a warmer welcome than what he received.

Anwit's expression was neutral, borderline indifferent.

"P' Sarth?" he said, his voice cold and lacking the warmth Sarth had grown accustomed to over the past few weeks. "What are you doing here?"

The smile on Sarth's face faltered for a moment, and he blinked, clearly caught off guard by Anwit's tone. He had expected their relationship to have softened, especially after how close they had grown recently. But now, it felt like Anwit had put his walls back up.

"I... uh, just came to see you," Sarth stammered, trying to regain his composure.

"Well, P' Yut is not home," Anwit replied flatly, his hand already on the door, ready to close it. But before he could, Sarth blocked it with his hand and slipped inside, much to Anwit's irritation.

"Wait," Sarth said, stepping into the apartment. "I wanted to talk to you. I am sorry I didn't return your calls or texts. I have just... been busy."

Anwit raised an eyebrow at Sarth's excuse. He didn't buy it for a second. 

There was something else going on, and he could sense it, but he wasn't in the mood to press the issue. Instead, he simply hummed in response and turned back to continue cleaning.

Sarth watched him for a moment, feeling a growing unease at the cold shoulder he was receiving. This wasn't like the Anwit he had come to know recently. 

Anwit had started opening up to him, albeit slowly, and they had spent more time together than necessary, even beyond their 'fake' dating deal. 

They had shared meals, laughed together, and even had late-night conversations that felt far more real than the facade they were supposed to be maintaining.

And yet, now it felt like all of that had been erased. Anwit was distant again, as if he had built a wall between them overnight.

Sarth cleared his throat, trying to break the uncomfortable silence. "When are we going furniture shopping? You said you would help me pick out stuff for my place, remember?"

Anwit didn't even glance up from the floor as he replied. "It is not my house. You can pick out whatever you like."

The sharpness of his words stung, and Sarth flinched, unsure of what to say next. He had never seen Anwit like this—so cold, so distant. It hurt more than he expected. 

He had assumed that over the past few weeks, they had built something, even if it had started as fake. But now, Anwit's indifference was like a slap in the face, reminding him that maybe it had always been just a deal for Anwit.

"I... I thought we were going to do it together," Sarth said softly, trying to keep the conversation light, though his heart was sinking.

Anwit finally stopped what he was doing and looked up at Sarth, his expression unreadable. "We don't need to keep doing this, Sarth. The whole 'fake boyfriend' thing... it's not necessary anymore. P' Yut and P' Hit are clearly into each other. You don't need me anymore."

Sarth's heart skipped a beat at the words, but not in the way he had hoped. It felt like Anwit was pushing him away, and he didn't know why. Was it something he had done? Or maybe something he hadn't done?

"I know that," Sarth admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But this isn't just about the deal anymore... is it?"

Anwit's eyes flickered with something—regret, maybe, or frustration. He bit his lip, clearly holding something back, but instead of answering, he turned away from Sarth again, resuming his cleaning.

Sarth felt a wave of panic rise in his chest. He didn't know how to fix this—didn't know how to break through the barrier that Anwit had suddenly thrown up between them. And the worst part was, he didn't even know why it was there in the first place.

"Anwit..." Sarth tried again, taking a tentative step closer. "What's going on? Did I do something?"

Anwit's movements paused briefly, but he didn't turn around. "No, you didn't do anything, Phi. That's the problem."

Sarth frowned, not understanding. "What do you mean?"

Anwit sighed, finally turning to face him. "This was supposed to be simple. We were supposed to help each other out and move on. But now, it has gotten... complicated. And I don't want complications."

Sarth swallowed hard. He wanted to ask why, to demand answers, but the words stuck in his throat. Instead, he simply stood there, feeling the weight of Anwit's unspoken words hanging in the air between them.