I hate you. || woosan ||

|| part 22 ||

Jongho pov:

There we were. Next to each other in my bed, coming down from the high we just reached. Yeosang was panting in my arms, looking as beautiful as ever. Our moment together felt happy and comfortable, but yeosang's eyes were telling me he didn't feel like that anymore.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Tell me what is on your mind." I said softly, pressing a quick kiss on his shoulder. He stayed quiet for a few seconds before he found the words to express himself.

"It's just- I don't know how to feel about this... about the way we're doing this. The way you're doing this. It feels wrong, Jongho." He couldn't even look me in the eyes while saying it. Is he ashamed of me? Is he taking Milynn's side?

"What do you mean?" I said as I took his chin between my fingers and made him face me.
"Please explain, my dear. I don't want you to feel bad."

"It's just-" he took a deep breath. "I don't know if I want to be a part of this. Well, it's already too late for me to pull out of it, But still." He said, still not answering my question.

"Yeosang, answer my question." I said sternly.

"I- I just don't want to be a part of this! People already say that I am a slut who throws himself at people, but if they get to know about this! About us! They will think i break people up just for a fuck!" He suddenly raised his voice. I was taken aback quite a bit. I never heard him so upset before. I pushed a strand of his beautiful dark hair behind his ear and cradled his face.

"Oh, my sweet boy. That will never happen. I'll make sure it never will. And we both know you aren't a slut and that this isn't 'just a fuck' atleast it isn't for me." I calmly said as I caressed his cheeks with my thumb. I felt something moist touch my thumb and I realised he was crying.

"Jongho, why are you so k-kind to me?" He asked in a genuine tone. I softly chuckled, even though it is sad that he is going through this, I can't help but think he is so adorable.

"Because, yeosang, I love you." I paused for a second to look at yeosangs widened eyes. His eyes were filled with stars, with the whole universe. "I love you so much." I said as I pulled his hands towards my chest and pressed a loving kiss on his forehead.

To my surprise, he started sobbing. He clutched the bedsheets against my chest as he slightly started shaking.

"Y-you don't mean that." He said. His voice barely above a whisper.

"I do yeosang. I'll say it over and over until you believe me. I love you." I said as I wrapped my arms around his and pulled him closer to me.

"Stop lying to me." He said while trying to push me away, tears still streaming down his face.

"Listen to me. I didn't mean to pull you into this. If you think I just...fucked you to get back at Milynn, than you're wrong. I am so sorry. I didn't know you didn't want any of this." He stopped squirming and finally looked me in the eyes, but he didn't react. He just looked at me with big, teary eyes.

"And don't you dare think bad about yourself or let other people make you feel bad about yourself." I added.

He moved closer and kissed me. It was full of emotion, different than any kiss we shared before. I pulled him against my body and kissed him back with the same fervour. Our bodies creating an intense but calming heat.

I pulled back and caressed his cheek. We didn't say anything as our actions spoke enough words. At that moment I felt everything. Not only the warm, loving feeling between us, also the way his legs were softly touching mine. The way the soft silk fabric of the duvet felt against my skin. Everything felt so overwhelming, but so right.