KGOMOTSO: HIS FIRST

Chapter 20 - Finale

SIMPHIWE

I'm not going to tell her. I can't afford to lose her. Especially not now. But how do I face her after I broke my promise?

Kgomotso: "Where have you been?" I look down. I'm too ashamed.

Simphiwe: "I'm sorry for worrying you like that. I just went out to clear my head."

Ah! Conviction!

Kgomotso: "Okay. Are you gonna go to bed now, or should I make you some tea or coffee, or--"

Simphiwe: "Baba, baba. Please. I just need to lay my head for now, okay?"

Kgomotso: "O-kay."

I can't face her. Not after what I've done.

KGOMOTSO

Something about him is just off. He never looks down whenever he talks to me. Maybe this whole thing is hitting him deep. Ma'Nto and bab'Zothile said they're coming to check on him today. I could really use some company after what happened yesterday. He kicked them out. That's how mad he was. I still need to call them and apologise. Maybe lunch will do. It will be on me. It's the least I can do.

I wear my skinny jeans, blue turtle neck vest, my boots and my black fur coat along with this Brazilian wig I bought at some dodgy shop. I wanted to have a wig for the first time because I always have braids and I went to this shop in Parktown. I don't remember why I was there but I saw this shop that had nice-looking wigs. I didn't care about the quality, it just looked nice.

I don't feel like wearing make-up in this extremely cold weather. August is never this cold in Limpopo.

___________

Kgomotso: "Ladies, I just want to apologise for what happened yesterday."

Busi: "We even heard the whole commotion."

Yonela: "But it's okay. We understand."

Khosi: "I say we do the prayer session at my place."

Kgomotso: "You'd really do that?"

Khosi: "Motso baby, you're our girl and our partner in Christ. Come on now!"

Kgomotso: "Thank you. I really needed this so much."

What more could I ask for in these girls?

SIMPHIWE

Both the memorial and the funeral were dignified. I'm glad uncle Mbuyi got the dignified funeral he deserved. He was well respected and I can say was one of the few politicians that genuinely cared about the people and wasn't corrupt, like our president, Jacob Zuma.

All of this just feels surreal. Like he's really and seriously gone. I know Lindiwe adored her father and looked up to him as her hero. Now her hero is gone.

Kgomotso and I are ready to go home after a long day. The guilt is still there but I try by all means not show it. It was a mistake. Just a mere mistake that won't happen again. I asked her to drive us since I don't have the energy. We bickered a bit, but eventually agreed.

___________

We're home now. I land on the couch and slouch because all my energy is gone. I'm exhausted. From everything and everyone. I'm too lazy to even reach for the remote.

Kgomotso: "Simphiwe."

Simphiwe: "kaMashaba."

Kgomotso: "Please help me unzip my dress." She says getting closer to me.