The Diary of Lauran Tenique

Entry #5

Entry #5

-It's been a week since my brother confronted me. I have seriously been considering talking to him but something's been stopping me. Do you ever have those days where you feel everything, good or bad, but you can't seem to put any of it into words? Too afraid to tell anyone about anything. Hell, if I can't explain my emotions what's stopping people from thinking i'm insane?

A couple days ago Jackson stopped me in the hall and wanted to check if I was okay. He's a nice guy, really. But I can't let him in. Not even the first month of school and i'm getting sympathy looks, and my name circling in gossip everyday. To save myself I yelled at Jackson to stay out of my life and never talk to me again. It was for his own sake as much it was mine.

After that, I was walking home from school when Nick caught up to me. Nick is the type of guy that can make you feel the most important and least important person in the world all at once. Maybe I was still upset about the party. Or him not caring about me 'til I was with someone else. Either way I was done. I broke up with him.

He said he still wanted to be there for me but then again he was already on search for a new girlfriend who doesn't have a problem giving me looks every time she passes me in the hall. And not to my surprise, Nick doesn't do anything to stop her. I was officially what I didn't want to be. I was a loner in school who turned to drugs. Sure, I despised drugs but I also knew that's what my brother turned to. Drugs are what I grew up with. Drugs never leave.