The Diary of Lauran Tenique

Entry #14

Entry #14

-Nothing

Nothing at all.

After hurting for so long,

I found my peace.

But not my happiness.

Peace isn't happiness.

I learned that after you knocked it down.

Plan B.

Find your happiness.

My eyes are sunken and dull.

My heart just feels like an extra weight in my chest,

Nothing that I really needed.

For it did not feel.

There was no happy or mad

Angry or sad.

I wanted to be sad.

I wanted to hate you.

But I couldn't find the emotion in my heart to do any of those.

Jewelry.

Something that gives you extra weight to carry.

You can take it off when it gets too worn or heavy.

You can take it off when the shine goes away and the dullness pulls through.

There's a difference between the two.

My heart is an extra weight with no emotion.

It's worn and heavy.

The shine has quickly gone away.

The dullness clearly there.

But I can't remove my heart without death.

Although i'm too foolish.

I care too much to commit the perfect crime.

I care too much about you.

My mind screams death.

But my heart screams you.

I'm soon realizing there's no in-between.

So I chose you.

Even though I knew if I stayed, you would hurt me to my own death.

I still stayed.

With you.

For you.

And only you.

Even though you didn't stay there for me.