Twilight's Embrace

Chapter 11

Weeks pass by, soon turning into a month.

Subaru seeks out Amara in the rose garden, where she's become a familiar presence during after school hours. He clears his throat, a mixture of nervousness and determination evident in his expression.

"Oi," he begins, his voice tinged with emotion, "I wanted to talk to you about what happened...after that guy bit you."

Amara looks up from the rosebush she was tending to, her eyes locking with Subaru's as she waits for him to continue.

"I know I reacted...poorly, when I found out about his bite. And I realize now that it wasn't completely fair to you. I was so caught up in my own possessiveness, my own fears, that I didn't stop to think about how you might've been feeling. And for that... I'm sorry."

Amara takes a deep breath, processing Subaru's words and the sincerity in his voice. "Thank you," she says finally, "I appreciate your apology, Subaru."

Subaru shifts a little under an awkward weight, pressing down on him, his expression slightly hardening. "Why did you do it? Why did you let him bite you?"

Amara flinched at the sudden harshness coming from Subaru, however, she relaxes a bit more as she sees the sincerity in his eyes, mixed with a sense of hurt. She hesitates, but then opens up to Subaru about the loneliness she's been feeling, the sense of not being enough for him, and her wish for connection and affection. Subaru listened attentively, his heart aching as he realized the depth of her pain and the role he played in causing it.

After Amara finishes speaking, Subaru takes a moment to gather his thoughts. "I see," he says gently. "I want to make sure you never feel like that again," he finalizes, his voice sounding more determined and assertive.

Amara's expression saddens, tears prickling behind her eyes. "Then why did you react like that?" she asked, her voice trembling with emotion. "I told you that it wasn't what you thought, but I couldn't get through to you! And not to even start about your mood swings—I really don't get you, Subaru-kun. One moment, you're cold and dinstand, the next you're angry and violent, and then—" Amara pauses, small droplets rolling down her cheeks, her heart aching at the thought, the memory, the hope, that Subaru'll show his softer side. That it wasn't just something she had imagined to help her keep functioning in this dark, twisted, sinister world she's gotten herself into.

As Amara's voice trails off, Subaru feels the weight of her words pressing down on him. He hadn't realized how deeply his actions had affected her, how his unpredictable behavior had left her questioning everything. He takes a deep breath, gathering his thoughts and mustering the courage to open up to her like never before.

"I...I'm sorry," he begins, his voice barely above a whisper. "I know my behavior has been confusing. Sometimes I don't even know why I'm like this myself."

Amara listens intently, her tears still glistening on her cheeks, like little stars, as she waits for Subaru to continue.

"Our father, he... He's a cruel and abusive man," he started, still trying to navigate his thoughts within the whirlwind of emotions. "Are you familiar with what a wilted white rose symbolizes?" He suddenly asks, and Amara shakes her head. "Death preferable to the loss of innocence and chastity," he answered, his voice trailing off.

Amara was utterly confused. What did he mean by this? "Subaru-kun?" She asks softly, and Subaru sighed. "My mom," Subaru starts and Amara listens intently to what he has to say. "She used to be a white rose— Innocent and pure," he pauses, swallowing the lump in his throat before he continues. "Until our father... forced himself upon her, and gave birth to me— a filthy, dirty... cursed creature with even more cursed and rotten blood."

Subaru clenched his fists. Rage boiling within him. However, Amara recognized it as self-hate, and not anger towards her. His words shocked her, and filled her heart with a terrible ache.

"If I hadn't been born—she'd still be... Shit!" he raged, and suddenly it all clicked inside Amara's head. Subaru is under the life-long illusion that he's only made to destroy.

As Amara processes Subaru's words, she realizes the depth of his self-loathing and the distorted perception he has of himself. It's clear that he's been carrying the weight of his traumatic upbringing for all of his life, shaping his volatile behavior and guarded demeanor.

"Subaru-kun," Amara begins gently, choosing her words carefully, "I can't even begin to imagine the pain you've experienced, or the burdens you've been carrying all this time. But I want you to know that you're not defined by your father's actions, nor the circumstances of your birth. You're your own person, and you have the power to shape your own destiny."

Subaru looks at her, his eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and doubt. "How can you say that?" he asks, his voice barely a whisper. "I'm a product of violence and cruelty. It's in my blood!"

Amara takes a step closer, placing a hand on his shoulder. "But you've also shown kindness and compassion," she counters, her voice firm yet gentle. "When you bit me for the first time, out in the forest, you didn't just feed off me—You embraced me while doing so. Even though I was well aware of the danger your fangs imposed on me, I still felt a gentleness in your arms. That's not the actions of someone who's only capable of destruction."

Subaru seems to ponder her words, his expression softening slightly. "I don't know if I can ever truly change," he admits, "but... I want to try. I don't want to be the person my father was."

Amara offers him a warm smile, her eyes filled with understanding and hope. "I'll be there to support you," she promises. "Even if I do end up destroying you along the way?"

As Amara hears Subaru's question, she can't help but be struck by the sincerity in his voice. She knows that his words aren't meant as a threat, but rather a genuine concern for the potential consequences of their tumultuous relationship.

"I don't believe you could ever truly destroy me, Subaru-kun," Amara says, her voice gentle yet resolute. "Not in the way you might think, at least. Yes, our relationship may be complicated, and there may be pain along the way, but it's a risk I'm willing to take if it means we can both grow and learn from each other."

Subaru's eyes search Amara's, his expression a mix of gratitude and apprehension. "But what if I end up hurting you? What if I make a mistake and cause you pain?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

Amara takes a deep breath, her gaze never wavering from his. "Pain is a part of life, Subaru-kun. It's something we all experience, mostly caused by someone we love. But what matters is how we face it, how we learn from it, and how we use it to become stronger. If you make a mistake, we'll face it together. If I make a mistake, we'll face that together too. That's what it means to be in a relationship—to support each other through the good times and the bad."

Subaru takes a moment to process Amara's words, his heart filling with a newfound sense of strength and hope. "You're right," he says finally, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "So...Does that mean you'd want to be my girl?"

Amara's cheeks flush a soft pink at Suabru's question, her heart skipping a beat. She didn't expect him to ask that, and she felt unprepared for the rush of emotions that flooded through her.

"S-Subaru-kun," she stuttered, not sure how to respond. He just looked at her, expectantly, awaiting a proper answer. Amara's eyes narrowed slightly in playful suspicion. "Are you serious, or was that just a joke?" she asked, but Subaru just shrugged. To him, it wasn't a joke, but he refused to let her know that for some reason that even he himself didn't understand. Still, Amara somehow could see it in his eyes, even if his expression was unreadable, the small smile from a moment before now gone from Subaru's lips.

"I—I don't know," Amara says, her voice soft and filled with uncertainty, "I need time to think."