I look fine on the outside but sometimes I still cry
I remember all the hurt I went through that year
How I had great friends and then they abandoned me
But mainly how I felt completely alone
Sometimes I still cry to get out the emotion
And out of my head
To pull out the triggers and place them behind something I won't find for a while
But when I see them I still cry
And maybe not in the moment but when I'm by myself
Because I don't want people to think I'm not over it and not strong
I think of how some of the closest people were the worst support
But I love them regardless even when they didn't know how to love me in my pain.
And though the tears come so few now the laughter is addicting
I smile at my cat, stare at the sky, and just breathe again
I sing loudly with my friends in the car with no worry in sight
Sometimes I laugh too hard I choke on my humorous thoughts
I can build others up and not be so sad
I enjoy every day and moment and I'm thankful I'm seeing in color
And I laugh and enjoy the dumbest things every day of my life even though I sometimes cry
