𝒫𝓇𝑜𝓅𝒽𝑒𝒸𝓎 ~𝙷𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝙿𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕱𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖞-𝕿𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊

𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀɪᴇꜱ ᴡᴀʀᴍ ʏᴏᴜ ᴜᴘ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴꜱɪᴅᴇ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʟꜱᴏ ᴛᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ." ― ʜᴀʀᴜᴋɪ ᴍᴜʀᴀᴋᴀᴍɪ

(𝑇𝑊- 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓-ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑚)

*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*

Someone once said 'in the midst of death, life persists'.  

I think I read it at the bottom of an obituary when I was ten. I had forgotten about it completely until now.

It's sort of ironic, isn't it?

Almost like a slap in the face.

Because even though the world is the same, I am not.

My life has seemingly stopped moving.

I don't eat, I don't sleep, and I rarely leave my bed.

The days following the events of the third task were combined into one.

I left the hospital wing just hours after they forced me into that bed. From what I heard, Harry stayed for a night or two after. I avoided everyone, friends and professors alike. They all wanted to talk. They all wanted to profess their sorrows. I quickly learned that if you just stay completely silent and still, they eventually walk away.

There were 8 days in between the third task and July 3rd - when the Hogwarts Express would arrive - and they passed steadily.

I didn't go to the Great Hall when Dumbledore gave his speech, recounting Cedric's death and the factors leading up to it. I listened as Sydney repeated his words to me but I said nothing in return.

She tried, she really did; she brought plates of food up, small glasses of juice, and even a stack of letters. But I didn't touch any of it.

"Are you going to start packing today?" She asked.

Silence.

"I'm sure the Malfoys have plenty of books but you might want to bring your personal ones."

Silence.

"I can help you pack if you want."

Silence.

"I'll make sure I don't misplace any of your rocks."

Silence.

When the sun disappeared and night rolled around, that is when I got up.

In 1965 some muggle boy did a science experiment, testing how long the human body can run without any sleep at all.

He reached eleven days before caving.

I was on day six.

When the girls around me ultimately fell asleep, I stood up from my bed and walked. I could only pace around the tiny dorm room so many times before having to move on to the common room. I typically waited to go out there until 2 a.m, when there was a zero percent chance of running into anyone.

I don't know how I ever struggled staying awake, but I guess it's easy when your own body rejects sleep. If I close my eyes for a second longer than I should, they flick open.

After the third day of it happening I realized it was my mind's way of protecting me.

I knew what I would see when I closed my eyes, I knew what tortured images would float in my brain when I tried shutting it off.