49|I love you

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The sky is an oppressive gray, matching the heaviness in my heart as I stand at the edge of the cemetery

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The sky is an oppressive gray, matching the heaviness in my heart as I stand at the edge of the cemetery. The wind is cold, a biting reminder of the emptiness that now fills my life. The world feels surreal, a distorted reflection of reality where nothing seems real except for the sharp, painful absence of Addy.

The gathering is somber, a sea of black and gray, faces turned toward the fresh grave where Addy's casket rests. The flowers around it are vibrant, but they only serve as a stark contrast to the sorrowful scene. Everyone is in bright colours just like she wanted. I've been dreading this moment, knowing that I'll have to speak, knowing that I'll have to face the truth that Addy is truly gone.

Nick stands beside me, his hand resting gently on my back, a silent comfort in the midst of this crushing grief. I can feel his warmth, but it's not enough to chase away the cold that's settled deep in my bones. I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself, but the lump in my throat feels like it's suffocating me.

I step forward, the microphone cold and unyielding in my trembling hand. The faces before me blur together, and I blink rapidly, trying to clear the tears that threaten to fall. My voice comes out broken and ragged. "Thank you all for being here," I start, each word feeling like it's being dragged from the depths of my sorrow. "Thank you for coming to honor Addy."

I look at the casket, at the flowers that are meant to be a celebration of her life, and the finality of it all hits me like a wave. "Addy was my best friend, my sister in every way that mattered. She was the light in my darkest days, the laughter in my quiet moments. She was my constant, my everything. And now... now she's not here, and I don't know how to keep going without her."

The tears come harder now, spilling down my cheeks in a relentless torrent. I try to wipe them away, but they only come faster. "She had this way of making everything better, of turning the mundane into something magical. She knew how to make me smile even when I didn't want to, and she knew how to hold me when I needed it most."

The crowd is silent, the only sounds the occasional rustle of leaves and the muffled sobs of those gathered. "I can't explain how much it hurts to know that she's gone. To know that I'll never see her again, never hear her voice or feel her hug. It's like a part of me has been ripped away, leaving a gaping hole that nothing can fill."

I pause, my breath coming in ragged gasps, and try to steady my voice. "Addy wanted us to remember her with joy, with laughter. She didn't want us to dwell on the sadness, but... how do we not? How do we move on when the person who made life so beautiful is gone?"

I look down at the casket, my heart breaking all over again as I see it being lowered into the ground. The earth seems to swallow it slowly, each shovelful of dirt a reminder that this is really happening, that she's really gone. My chest tightens, and a sob escapes me, uncontrollable and heart-wrenching.

"Addy," I whisper, my voice cracking. "I miss you so much. I don't know how to do this without you. I don't know how to face each day knowing you're not here. But I promise you, I'll try. I'll try to honor you, to keep your spirit alive, because you were too wonderful to be forgotten."

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