L.O.V.E

Sincere's Bed

All I want Is love

I see everyone else and their happy , but what about me.

I ask god was I made to be miserable , was I made to be depressed.

I lay in this bed and I stair at this window full of rain

As every rain drop roll down this window it reminds me of myself.

Except I keep rolling , I never dry up.

I look at this rosebush sitting in front of my window and it's slowly dying.

As every raindrop hits it , it's pedals get looser and looser preparing itself to fall.

I just want to be somebody , I just want everyone to look at me , think of me as one of them .

Is that to hard. Is it ?

"Sincere. Honey Get down here" my mom yelled

"Coming" I said putting my journal back under my mattress.

Today was Sunday and we were supposed to be going to church.

I had on a pink dress with some black flats and my pink purse that was half way gone because it was peeling.

I walked into the kitchen where my brother was sitting at the table eating a sandwich. He was older than me by one year. He was a mama's boy. He always suckered up to her.

"Baby , c'mon eat your sandwich before we leave" my mom said as she walked into the kitchen

"I'm not hungry" I said

"You sure , just eat baby I don't want you to not have nothing on your stomach" she said

"I said I'm not hungry" I said

"Okay then" she said

"Mario , you made my coffee" she said

"Yeah , mama here" he said handing it to her

"Can you grab my earring over there sincere" she said

"Tell mario to get it , know he does everything you say anyway" I said

"I'll get it mama , sincere you so self centered" Mario said reaching for mama's earring

"Whatever" I said

"Sincere what is wrong with you this morning" my mom asked

"Nothing" I said with an attitude

"Its something wrong with you baby now what is it" she said

"I said nothing , just leave it alone" I said

Mario was just looking at me and I just rolled my eyes.

I had an attitude because I hate how were living like gosh. We eating sandwiches for breakfast. We don't even have no mayonaise or nothing just bread and ham. Plus this dress I have on I hate it. It so big and old and it makes me look like I'm a kid or something. Our house well scratch that trailor looks horrible it's ragedy and we don't have a car , we ride the bus. My mom works at this soup kitchen which makes us no money. Our beds are twin sized and our clothes are in ragedy baskets. I wish I dressed like all the other girls at church. They were pretty with heels and tight dresses and makeup. My mama tells me I'm pretty every morning but I'm not because I look nothing like the other girls.

I was brownskin with long black hair and I was skinny. I stood about 5,5. and I had brown eyes.

All the other girls were lightskin , I wanted to be them.

There's this girl that goes to our church named Ariel and she's beautiful. She's brownskin but she wears make up and heels and had curly hair and she's just beautiful all the boys try to get with her while I just stand there and watch and envy her.

***

"Damn sincere , you wore that last sunday" Devin said

I just looked at him and walked off

***

"Hey , come here" Jason said

He never talked to me. He hung with Devin them.

"Look if you're about to talk about me , save it" I said

"Noo , I just wanted to tell you ... You actually look pretty " he said

"Look Jason I don't have time for games okay" I said walking away

"No , sincere I'm serious , maybe I .ca- " he was saying before getting cut off by Devin

"Aye , Jason what the hell you doing talking to her" he yelled

"I was just talking about how them flats be talking" Jason laughed

I just looked at him , he then started running back to them and turned around and mouthed sorry

I hated people like him , I hated people like Devin to.

We all were in the teen building and ariel walked in. She was beautiful she had on a black fitting dress and a red belt with some black heels with the red bottom which are Louis vutton I only dreamed on having that stuff.

She had on some black pearl earrings and a black and red pearl necklace with a diamond ankle bracelet. She had on red lipstick with eye liner and mascara . I'm sorry to be you know all up on her but she was what I dreamed of being.

She sat with Devin and Jason and their friends with the other pretty girls.

I sat in the back trying not to be seen because once I sat in the front and I was the trending topic.

The lady named Sister Davis spoke to us and today she was talking about forgiveness. I listened to her every single word and it spoke to me. I thought about what Jason did today and I thought abit forgiving him but it's hard to forgive someone. I can sit here and say I forgive you but in my heart I know for a fact I still have a grudge against you and it's hard for me to let that go.
****

Me , Mario and my mom were standing at the bus stop and Devin and Jason rode by

"Bye sincere" they yelled laughing

I just rolled my eyes

"Oh , mario look she has boys saying bye to her" my mom smiled

" They don't like her trust me" he said

"You don't know that" she said hitting him

"You like one of them boys sincere , their handsome young men" she said

"No , I actually hate them" I said

"Aw , scared to tell me ... It's okay" she grinned

"No , I'm not scared of anything ...I said I hate them and I honestly mean that" I said with an attitude when the bus soon pulled up and we got on

Sincere in the multimedia