Hazbin Hotel Season 3

Chapter 3: Don't do Anything You'll Regret

Lucifer awkwardly patted a very drunken Adam on the back, feeling very thankful that Lilith had already gone to sleep in a room she had claimed. Otherwise she would probably make him feel worse.

Alastor had disappeared to who knows where, and Lucifer couldn't care less to go after him. Especially after the Radio Demon abandoned them during battle.

"I hate myself!" Adam wailed, tears streaming down his cheeks and Lucifer grimaced, having heard this same rant for the past what felt like an hour.

"Yeah," Lucifer said, wincing as the first man downed yet another shot. He was the King of Hell, had relied on rubber ducks for the past seven years as emotional support, and even he had never drank this much in one sitting. "Careful. You're spilling it all over your, uh, pajamas?"

Adam looked down to his oversized Hello Kitty pajamas with bleary eyes and then cast an arm on his forehead dramatically. "These are my favorites!" He choked down another sob with a shot. "I hate life."

"That's rough, buddy." Lucifer tried to give Husk a look that said, 'that's enough' and the bartender nodded, looking a bit shocked himself at the mess in front of him. "Let's get you to the couch, yeah? You're going to fall off this stool."

"Another drink," Adam slurred, slamming a fist on the counter lazily and ignoring Lucifer.

Husk shook his head, not even flinching at the reaction. "I ain't giving you any more drinks. You've had more than enough for the month, goddammit."

"GIVE ME ANOTHER DRINK!" Adam yelled, his voice wavering, looking very distressed. He wiped a sleeve across his eyes, and then collapsed on the counter.

Lucifer placed a hand on Adam's shoulder, feeling sick to the stomach at the sight of his state. "Look, bud, I get it, but doing this won't–"

"NO!" Adam sat up, his blank eyes glazed over. "You don't get it!" He jabbed a finger to point at everyone else who was watching from the living room. "They don't get it either. No one does!"

Charlie stood up cautiously, even as Vaggie grabbed at her wrist to stop her. "Adam, please," she pleaded. "You're safe now. You don't have to worry—"

"It's not about that!" Adam looked more and more distressed with every second. "I've ruined everything. Mine and Eve's relationship–" Lucifer winced at the name "–any chance I had of becoming better. I turned Heaven into a political scape, was too proud to tell Lute I liked her and then when fucking Lilith came to Heaven, I made a stupid fucking deal with her to let her stay in fucking Heaven if she just fucking slept with me and then she made a deal with the fucking red radio deer guy and he made a deal with me! And my only fucking outlet was killing millions, billions of souls in Hell and I deserve every fucking thing those sinners wanted to do." He swallowed, dropping his head back into his arms. "I'm so, so fucking pathetic."

The room was silent for a second and then Adam raised his head to stare at everyone with bleary eyes. "Fuck. I wasn't supposed to say that." He dropped his head again and started snoring, passed out.

Lucifer stared at him, feeling his heart in his stomach. He hadn't expected Lilith to be purely innocent, but to hear that she had... and Alastor too?

Vaggie cleared her throat, interrupting the silence that had fallen over them all. "Okay, it's getting late. We can talk about this tomorrow morning with clear minds. Everyone–"

Charlie held a hand up to stop her, staring off into the distance. "Hold on," she said slowly. "If... if mom made a deal with Adam... but Adam made a deal with Alastor... who made a deal with mom..." Her voice trailed off and the question hung in the air. What did it mean if three of the most powerful people were holding each other at bay? "And what was Alastor's deal with Lilith. What did she make him promise her?"